Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
Today, I was in the romantic section of a book store making fun of the titles. Thinking my friend was behind me, I read in a sexy voice, “Sleeping with a Stranger” and turned to laugh only to find the 70-year-old store manager smiling and winking at me. FML
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Top comments
Beebow_fml 5
Better than rope, duct tape and lube.
rothus66 7
Try condoms, whip cream, chocolate, duct tape, and a pineapple that got me some weird looks and was the last time I shopped for my friends.
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Comments (134)
SwtCherryPie 26
Hehe kinda like my husband buying me Midol once... told the clerk his cramps were really bad that day... its was great
tophatprincess 0
Troll girlfriend was trolling.
hayleclark 17
the manager shouldn't be judging OP, he's a customer! :O
leadman1989 16
My sick mind instantly thought **** when he said "wandered too far". Now I've got to go and do... something brb.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
By the way Enslaved, seeing a close family member battle with cancer is the reason I became more aware of what I was eating as well. It's insane that in America the junk food is so much cheaper that it's all some people can afford. I go back between the US and Europe, and in Europe you can get fruits and vegetables for just a bit cheaper than in the US, but if you want to get the same quality produce in America, you'll need to bust your wallet to buy expensive organic heirloom varieties. The poor people in Europe still eat actual food.
All_Blacks 2
what can ya say humans need our dog treats and dogs need tampons.
KiddNYC1O 22
She went to the shoe store...
pepperedmint 0
How sweet
bugmefmlnotnow 7
If I were you, I wouldn't have given a flying ****.
PinkFun1969 9
Your the best BF ever!!