Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got...

By vron991 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

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Miscellaneous

There's no helping some people

Sorry…

Admit you're shit

By boohoo - Ireland

Today, I was fired from my catering job for pointing out the unsafe food conditions. I'm studying food safety in college. FML

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By Hakimstah - Lebanon

Pranked

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

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By benji - United States

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

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By Rimmy Jobs - United States

Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML

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By SexyPlayer9 - United States

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Overland Park

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

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By kfenton - United States

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2021 02:00

Caught!

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me, thanks to a friend's TikTok account. FML

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By MystoganFT - United States - Emmaus

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

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By nomorefreehugs - United States

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

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By Myballshurt - United States - Harrisburg

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

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By all arsed out - United Kingdom - Spalding

Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML

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By xoothc08 - United States

Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML

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By Single Again

Cunning

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

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By Kyley - United States

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Froot Loop. FML

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By daenerys stromboli - Ireland - Navan

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

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By NickDrakeFan - United States

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

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By :^( - Bahrain - Isa Town

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

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By Snickers - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

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By soontobedivorced - United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

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Today, I finally received my new computer in the mail. I was so excited, I kissed the box. The truck driver definitely noticed. FML

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By MALICEG - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

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By ugh - Canada - Mississauga

Somebody's watching me

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/12/2020 08:02

Proud boy

Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML

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By pogodrake - United States

Today, I got a call from the girl I'd really like to date to meet up for drinks. Excited, I walked out my front door, slipped on a patch of ice, and dislocated my shoulder. She won't go out on a date with me now because I "ditched her". FML

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By fmysexlife - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

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By gordy1220 - United Kingdom

Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

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By theseguysarewhipped... - Canada - London

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

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By nycol - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

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By betterpianist - United States

Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML

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By guest - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

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By newcomer - Canada - Kingston

Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML

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By no more tp

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was riding on my bike when a guy on the street shouted, "I LOVE YOU!" at me. I recently told my boyfriend I loved him, and his response was, "I don't love you but I won't treat you any differently." Perverts on the street love me, but my boyfriend doesn't. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

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Winner

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

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By Claire.L - 10/5/2020 20:00

Catch 22

Today, I gave my boss a two-month notice. He threatened me by saying he wouldn't provide a reference if I quit in July instead of August. I need the reference to pursue my dream to work in the USA as a nanny. I have no other choice, I either work under their pressure or start all over. FML.

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By Anonymous - United States - San Mateo

Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML

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Top comments

By Keevarou | 16

#4428602 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:03

Scented pads? First time I have heard of.
Probably because Norway is slow with those stuff..
But when I think about it, pads kind of have a special weird sent about it anyway..
So FYL for having a dad that embarrasses you.
At least your dad is not afraid to show what he means, and that can be good sometimes

By SweetlyPsycho | 4

#4428746 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:36

What if her dad is a single dad?! You just sound like a complete jerk saying she deserves it for taking her dad!

COMMENTS

By Keevarou | 16

#4428602 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:03

lindora | 35

#4428764 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:39

I'm kinda surprised you knew that pads had a weird smell about them. Not a lot of guys are aware of that.

ScaughtieHolden | 11

#4429058 - Sunday 13 May 2012 14:11

A while back we established that you are, in fact, Kurt Cobain. Make more music please. :[

jenny123321 | 0

#4429087 - Sunday 13 May 2012 14:22

Yeaa they have those

Awes0meperson | 10

#4429264 - Sunday 13 May 2012 15:19

Well, what did they smell like?

laden_swallow09 | 34

#4429397 - Sunday 13 May 2012 16:08

Same thing goes for tampons… I wonder why?

kira_the_boss | 1

#4429501 - Sunday 13 May 2012 16:28

In my free time, I enjoy smelling pads

Haley_182 | 0

#4429516 - Sunday 13 May 2012 16:35

Dude you look like Kurt Cobain :)

shawnaishere | 14

#4429760 - Sunday 13 May 2012 18:34

when you said pad smell weird I had to go to your profile to make sure you were a guy

shawnaishere | 14

#4429765 - Sunday 13 May 2012 18:39

when you said pads smell weird I had to go to your profile to make sure you were a guy. Who goes around sniffing pads

happle | 21

#4429824 - Sunday 13 May 2012 19:15

Scented pads? Who's going to smell them?
Well... besides OP's dad...

happle | 21

#4429825 - Sunday 13 May 2012 19:16

Scented pads? Who's going to smell them?
Well... besides OP's dad...

elidine | 0

#4430346 - Sunday 13 May 2012 20:51

Teen spirit

ragzilla | 0

#4430941 - Monday 14 May 2012 0:12

I think we have those in Norway, with camomile or something. But still, I don't understand why they add scent to it. Should rather have something scent neutralizing

annemarte | 4

#4437838 - Tuesday 15 May 2012 10:03

Haha, hvorfor vet DU det uansett? ;-)

heyy_tharr_ | 5

#4455598 - Saturday 19 May 2012 15:34

...haha woww~

By Roxxxxay | 13

#4428607 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:03

What's wrong with your dad?! FYL!

yahoowizard | 16

#4428625 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:14

Haha, isn't every dad embarrassing in their own way

nado13579 | 12

#4429252 - Sunday 13 May 2012 15:13

Mine insists that he's "cool" now because he stopped tucking his shirt in his pants. :P Everybody's dad has something.

igive | 29

#4429431 - Sunday 13 May 2012 16:11

52- that's all it takes?! no wonder no one will talk to me. better start untucking my shirt :D

thatonewhitegirl | 0

#4432099 - Monday 14 May 2012 5:35

Using happy faces is hip :D

The666Ghost | 17

#6578350 - Monday 11 April 2016 9:53

You can have my dad if you want. Good luck finding the P.O.S.

By eccentrix | 12

#4428612 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:07

YDI for taking your dad shopping for scented pads.

KM96 | 24

#4428645 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:20

Maybe her mum was busy or is on a business trip or something and wasnt there to take her. So yeah, her dad had to take her ... So what ?!

SweetlyPsycho | 4

#4428746 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:36

What if her dad is a single dad?! You just sound like a complete jerk saying she deserves it for taking her dad!

ifoundalaska | 11

#4429458 - Sunday 13 May 2012 16:15

It's actually a really good sign that the op is open with her dad about her period, and not embarrassed about it. Women should not have to only discuss their periods with other women, that's ridiculous.

LilTiki559 | 13

#5797002 - Wednesday 18 December 2013 18:37

cuz we sooooooo want to talk about pads and periods.. Dad, okay, but everyone? No.

By Eila1996 | 5

#4428615 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:08

Wow thats embarrassing! I'd cry if my dad did that to me!

Hugh_Spreadum | 4

#4428712 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:30

Like that wouldn't make it more embarrassing or anything

Eila1996 | 5

#4428767 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:40

21 - I wouldn't actually cry, I'd just be so embarrassed!

lindora | 35

#4428780 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:41

I can't imagine how awkward and embarrassing it would be for the cashier..

FMLshark | 12

#4428836 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:56

OP's dad: Smell this! Does it smell like "Fresh linen" to you?

Where did you go for those pads, Bath and Body Works? I hear their summer-scented pad collections are to die for.

By HoboSmeller | 6

#4428616 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:09

im thinking of quiting my job after this happened today.

2ndSucks | 15

#4429206 - Sunday 13 May 2012 14:57

Why? You smell hobos but you can't smell pads?

therealslim | 15

#4430701 - Sunday 13 May 2012 22:41

I think 5 is trying to say he wants to give up hobo smelling for pad smelling.. Or maybe i'm totally getting him wrong.

By klovemachine | 24

#4428618 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:10

Embarrassing...maybe he's just trying to cover up the fact that a man is buying pads :)

BBoureaux | 8

#4429184 - Sunday 13 May 2012 14:54

Yeah, asking everyone around him to smell the pads definitely increases the subtlety of the fact that he is buying them.

onlychildFTW | 33

#4430095 - Sunday 13 May 2012 19:59

That's very strange to do. Your dad is strange OP. but now you've learned to not take your sad pad shopping. Or not to buy scented pads with him.

By zandalee | 19

#4428620 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:13

Dads rock! Like most Dads, this Dad sees (& smells) the world in a special way...
Thank God for Dads!
This FML made my Mothers Day.

By ryggsekk | 8

#4428627 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:14

my dad knokced me out wit one punsh right infront of my cusin who pissed himself. i think im mor traumaticed

GothicAngel17 | 24

#4428640 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:18

I think you must have considerable brain damage from said incident.

xXxIracebethxXx | 14

#4428725 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:32

9 - Do you feel proud for being knocked out and being more "traumatized"? What a sad life you must live.

nado13579 | 12

#4429296 - Sunday 13 May 2012 15:27

9- I really want to hit you with a dictionary right now.

Gtaylorfication | 0

#4429679 - Sunday 13 May 2012 17:57

You ever hear of this revolutionary invention called a dictionary? You should try one they are all the rage nowadays

Angel157 | 8

#4429745 - Sunday 13 May 2012 18:28

Did he punch you so hard that you forgot how to spell?

By patrickalamo | 47

#4428629 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:14

Ok, you have a dad who loves you enough to go buy tampons with you. Most men run away from this. He prob. Did not know what to do. Tell him no comments on personal need items.

mollysticks | 10

#4429289 - Sunday 13 May 2012 15:24

*pads

By estes816 | 9

#4428631 - Sunday 13 May 2012 12:15

What did they smell like? Iron?

ladyLALAA | 28

#4428917 - Sunday 13 May 2012 13:33

I cringed and laughed at this, the comment that keep giving!