Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, I was at our local park and saw what I thought was my sister holding her baby. I walked up behind her, kissed her on the head, and said, “You’re such a good mum.” It was very much not my sister. It was a very confused and now probably traumatised stranger. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
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Top comments
felixshen 18
thats no too bad, apologise and explain.
Anteezy 7
That is very true, regardless if the baby belonged to your aunt or not, you cannot just pick up and hold a newborn baby without even asking for permission. Also I can't remember another serious comment by perdix besides this one.
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Comments (110)
carlokes 0
what does OP mean?
Quasar55_fml 18
Original Poster
cradle6 13
NO, it means Octopus Puncher.
Quasar55_fml 18
Of course it does, but you were not supposed to let everybody know ! Now all the uninitiated on this website will see the truth ! You deliberately endangered the brotherhood, I thus sentence you to eternal damnation.
firecapez 4
^ That was the most epic win that i have seen thusfar on FML.
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Who the **** are you to touch someone's newborn baby without asking them first? Lots of people want to restrict their baby's exposure to others for a span of time -- six weeks, for example -- to isolate them from a wide range of germs. You are a selfish, disrespectful punk for grabbing a newborn without its mom's permission.
Anteezy 7
That is very true, regardless if the baby belonged to your aunt or not, you cannot just pick up and hold a newborn baby without even asking for permission. Also I can't remember another serious comment by perdix besides this one.
margxoxo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Though i agree with you 100%, don't get too angry.. there's a high chance that this is fake anyway. Btw, I'm a fan of yours! heh! :)
Ranimal 12
I definitely agree with you Perdix. Nobody in their right mind starts touching, much less cuddling a newborn baby without consulting the parent, even if it's your family members.
Domonator 16
100% correct. OP is a moron.
sourgirl101 29
Absolutely agree! One of "my" biggest pet peeve was when people (especially strangers) would come up to look at my kids,(when they were babies) and touch their hands. I don't know where your hands have been and babies put their hands in their mouths. So don't touch babies' hands!!!
hammie27 3
amen to that!
fthku 13
Oh wow, Perdix leaving a serious comment- Get your shotguns ready, it's zombie time. Stock up on canned food, bar your doors, and hide your babies from OP.
CEiiLEiiGH 7
Not only that, the bathroom was occupied so OP couldn't wash his hands before touching the baby. He could've risked the baby's health because he is impatient
bigcartoonjay 0
That's what you get for listening to a recipient. I would have gone to the receptionist to ask where I needed to go.
SupermanXL 3
i was waiting for someone to catch that
CynthiaAnn 0
Oh man, I bet she was sooo pissed.
Doortje 30
Ahh, that wasn't your fault OP! And it makes a great story for both parties, already for you and maybe in a few days for the baby's mother.
R3TROxLOV3 32
What are you talking about? It's completely the OP's fault. Who just picks up a newborn baby without the mother or fathers permission?
DocBastard 40
It's a damn good thing you aren't a rabbit, because then your aunt would have eaten the baby. It's true - look it up.
Doortje 30
Don't you mean the other woman? The one who's baby OP accidentally cuddled?
sourgirl101 29
I heard mice do that too.
DocBastard 40
Whatever. Don't bother me with trifles. :)
RoNsAuR 2
I wholeheartedly agree with perdix. You don't just go and pick up someone else's newborn. ydi
saleha97 4
Haha! Hope you're still alive.
kikibisweet 0
You asked the "recipient?" did you mean to ask the "receptionist!" Anyway Ydi for not checking the name on the door or calling out to your aunt in the "bathroom" to make sure it was her in there.
randomchickkk 0
it's changed now?
DynamicDave 11
Outrageous Prognostication