Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML
Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
tomhofer 14
That's depressing
Animekid126 13
What a good boyfriend
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Comments (164)
Soundslikeothers 15
Wow if I were a Doctor I would be terrified to tell a woman she could no longer eat chocolate.
ivydindy13 14
Imagine if she's PMSing the day you'd have to tell her.
coried91 28
I never understood the whole chocolate craving while PMSing. I never got cravings. I actually hate looking at food for that week. I don't know why, I'm probably just weird
ivydindy13 14
I never craved it, but I ate it cause I felt fat so might as well stuff my face with it. I think it's mostly just comforting, like ice cream after a break up thing.
Brightbulb 40
I'm exactly the same way 49, it's all I can do to drink during that week. It does cut down on the water weight and bloating though, which is always nice :)
whythankyou 19
While I feel bad for you, I also love his sense of humor.
skyeyez9 25
That wasnt humor. He was being a dick.
whythankyou 19
To each his own.
mdw7 12
Were you there? No? So you don't know that.
ivydindy13 14
I would've just pushed his head in the cake and walked away. Bitchy? Yup. But I'd be bitchy if I couldn't enjoy chocolate.
HelloooooNurse 20
That is so evil it's brilliant! His fault anyway for eating the chocolate cake like that.
CrazyMelvin 14
I agree. If he's gonna do that, take the cake and dump it over his head. Make sure it gets in his hair, nose, ears...
oj101 33
Im sure OP could find some chocolate to suit her needs - as there are lots of variants such as organic, gluten free, diabetic-friendly etc
Squeaky_Tomato 14
Unless she is like my mother. She can't have chocolate unless she wants to have a migraine. :/
coried91 28
NEVER eat "diabetic friendly" chocholate. It is horrible. I would rather my blood sugar be high. It's just... absolutely nasty.
coried91 28
Ugh, chocolate.*
amisenho 11
You could also try carob, if you're allergic to cacao itself. It's a pretty good substitute, actually.
Bulldozer36 21
He saved you from agonizing over whether to have some later. I'd marry that guy.
skatoolaki 24
He could've just thrown it out.
ivydindy13 14
Why on earth would you throw away chocolate?! What the **** did chocolate do to YOU?! The smart thing would been to eat it, just not how he did it.
rockne93 17
I HOPE OP MEANS EX BOYFRIEND
Rainhawk94 27
There will be one idiot that will take this comment seriously. Now we wait *hides in bush*
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Did he get chocolate wasted?
cryssycakesx3 23
no
hogman500 8
Did nobody get the grownups reference.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
I'm relieved someone got what I said lol
amulya 14
Find out what his favorite food is and return the favor
HerMischief 21
his favorite food is chocolate, FML
Dinoporeon 9
So, you can't eat it because you're allergic to it now, or diabetic? Either way, sorry. And your boyfriend is an ass.
coried91 28
You can still eat chocolate while your diabetic. You just have to watch how much you consume. I've been diabetic my whole life and still eat it on occasion.
Brightbulb 40
It could also be because of IBS (chocolate causes excruciating stomach pains/cramps/constipation/well you get the idea), or be one of the lucky ones where it affects their PCOS at which point the amount of vomiting makes you wish you were dead, or it could cause severe migraines where not even a fun sized snickers bar will let you off the hook. I miss chocolate, but I don't miss the pain and misery of eating it. Peanut butter is just as good, and no pain.
imhope 23
I think I would've cried.