Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML
Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
tomhofer 14
That's depressing
Animekid126 13
What a good boyfriend
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Comments (164)
Thors_Hammer9999 17
is anybody else having flashbacks to Matilda "YOU CAN DO IT BRUCIE!"
unforgiven1993 7
that's pretty funny
BunnyStar 14
Mmm, chocolate cake
xxtankgirlxx 5
I laughed so f*#@ing hard when i read this, Thank you for sharing your misfortune.
french_vulpix 19
I know your pain! Dark chocolate was my favorite, but then I found out I'm extremely sensitive to caffeine. It's been over a year now since I've had chocolate. Eat lots of caramel and butterscotch OP.
Fotch2013 4
he's a keeper
cdawgtate 9
I like him already
mryoung702 7
ydi because toy could have walked away
Luffy1992 2
Chocolate is not a food. It's a treat to be eaten once in a while. Food implies you would become full from eating. If your eating chocolate like food there's a reason your doctor said you can't eat chocolate..... YOUR F"@king FAT!
toxicfishwaffle 3
*you're
TvSmith 8
That's hilarious