Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 05:32 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 998

You deserved it 7 015

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Same thing different taste

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 644

You deserved it 46 015

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 729

You deserved it 3 758

Keeping warm

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 11:01

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 282

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 034

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 431

You deserved it 4 697

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 685

You deserved it 396

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 887

You deserved it 28 896

By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 387

You deserved it 26 468

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

By PeedMaPants - 16/08/2016 00:04 - United Kingdom - Meopham

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 363

You deserved it 2 347

Next

Top comments

sarcdude 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 12:06

I've never seen four different streams happen, just two, but I feel your pain. Freakin hate when that happens, and it never makes any sense to me when it does happen.

therealsuperman 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 12:07

lucky bastard, this isn't an FML, you're just bragging

Comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 11 January 2011 14:02

This sounds like a superhero ability. You should call yourself The QuattroStream Kid.

yazmi_09 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 19:22

win

wwerulez14 6

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:44

"Stop, or I'll pee 4 different streams of piss at you!" Sounds incredibly intimidating. Better do what he says...

shrdlu 28

Sunday 23 January 2011 5:07

Or, "Stop, or I'll pee on all four of ya!"

ifmlftw 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 6:53

DocBastard you never cease to entertain.

rdkorud13 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 14:16

haha you must have been drinking hardcore

novaryan 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 14:28

o.0 the same thing happened to me got on my leg lol

mante_fml 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 14:55

this isn't an FML. this is a WTF!!!

GDIalex 11

Thursday 13 January 2011 21:26

win

artisticninja713 13

Tuesday 11 January 2011 14:56

personally I had no idea guys had this problem. Well I learned something!

Phanks7 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 15:05

Yeah, that initial piss after sex sucks. Sometimes you have to force it out and sprays out like someone is pinching a waterhose lol.

MaddaCheeb 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 15:09

that happens a lot after you fap.

zebrapattern 6

Tuesday 11 January 2011 15:12

ew so does that mean you had something like, crusty blocking the hole?

Watermelon2011 6

Tuesday 11 January 2011 15:28

how the hell does that happen??

smokeymcpottt 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 15:41

What a talent!

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The Top

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 46

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 568

You deserved it 2 470

The Top

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 2 799

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 2 879

Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 572

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 361

You deserved it 29 845

Today, according to my doctors, the car crash I was in has damaged the part of my brain responsible for balance and coordination, which is why no matter if I'm standing, sitting, or lying down, I feel dizzy as fuck. Unless by some miracle my brain can fix itself, this might be a lifelong condition. I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 56

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 745

You deserved it 4 831