Health: Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I...

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 5 283

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 551

You deserved it 5 930

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 906

You deserved it 5 263

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 7 780

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 380

You deserved it 4 049

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 396

You deserved it 48 834

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 502

You deserved it 6 583

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 961

You deserved it 7 914

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 10 094

pabj208 23

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:00

Lock the door if you're doing weird shit (literally)

Koalax3 18

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:59

That's the kind of story that you can mention to your grandkids 60 years later over eggnog

Comments

Abhinow 7

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:21

did you think the toilet had some smart sensors to stop anyone from entering if it felt occupied? oh wait..even if it had, butt it hadn't !

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 23 June 2015 16:28

Dafuq are you on about? Just trying too hard to push out that pun?

swanheart 35

Wednesday 24 June 2015 9:19

Shame on you #53, colon him out about his terrible pun!

disbatch 14

Thursday 2 July 2015 5:56

At least someone pushed it out.

bulletsinthewind 21

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:22

Well that definitely sucks. I wonder what kind of stuff went through his mind when he saw that lol. Should've locked the door, buddy.

mustangbravo 27

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:25

Sorry OP. Maybe lock the door next time.

gunnerblaster 21

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:31

Why, in the name of God, did you not think to LOCK THE DOOR!? I can only imagine his reaction as he slowly closes the door and leaves.

Devtyro 14

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:48

And now your girlfriends dad has seen all there is to see underneath your pants. That'll be awkward at dinner.

Jessifer_V 11

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:50

I would cry. Sorry you had to experience that embarrassment OP!

disbatch 14

Thursday 2 July 2015 5:59

Cry? I would have laughed while perched and shot poop hooting like an owl!

alex_gen 38

Tuesday 23 June 2015 10:15

I'll just imagine that you ended up having a staring match for a good 45 seconds, before either of you choose to react.

Britt125 16

Tuesday 23 June 2015 10:19

Awkward, but did the door not have a lock?

lactemps 3

Tuesday 23 June 2015 10:21

There's always a danger of squatting Owl style on toilet seats. That I guess is one of them. The other one is doing a tumble or breaking the seat and ending up cutting your bum. Lesson learned; and next time please use ANYTHING to wedge the door, wouldn't be easy access to anyone.