Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML
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Top comments
ScratchCatPower 32
Well, you couldn't help it. If she's an acupuncture doctor I'm sure she's dealt with it before. You'll survive.
Tripartita 45
As embarrassing as that sounds, I fear the worst is yet to come; you may have a rare condition called sitcom-itus. You've already exhibited an hilariously awkward foiled romantic attempt, so if you notice any of the following, I'd recommend contacting a doctor (or better screenwriter): problems that seem to solve themselves in half an hour, a diverse cast of archetypal friends, or an omnipresent studio audience.
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Comments (42)
marko1596 24
SOOOO FAKE LOL TOOO FAKE YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE
Bibliovore 26
...In a professional appointment, you tried to start chatting up the doctor because she happened to be "a cute Korean woman"? Oy.
PePziNL 20
So everytime you meet an attractive (wo)man you should be just dead silent? Ok.
Bibliovore 26
There's a distinct difference between "the doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation", and simply conversing. Of course you should talk to people you're requesting a treatment from -- but as you would to a trained service provider (regardless of their nationality or appearance) whose office you're in, not like you're trying to pick the doctor up. That's why the "oy".
lysx84 24
I require the YDI button back, please. Only because op went for acupuncture in the first place.
MaiLyfe 20
What the hell is wrong with acupuncture?
chosha_fml 27
It's pseudoscience.
chosha_fml 27
Yes, and 'that could've happened to me' is the worst alternative button, because someone could easily think that and still consider it an FML. They should change it to 'that could've happened to anyone.' Or, you know, bring back YDI, which is what pretty much everyone would prefer.
Tyler_Posey 18
We might say you just couldn't keep it in your pants
james_logan 19
Maybe you shared more than you should have on the first date...
TisButAScratch 10
Maybe she was a North Korean spy trying to figure out how to put nukes into acupuncture needles, and do some research on mustard gas
PePziNL 20
Maybe jet fuel can't melt steel beams
dontknow1 19
lol
the_real_dvd 21
What did that asshole say?
ohSNAPyall 27
::toot!::
CloudNiner 13
Hahaha man don't stress it
kkarly97 5
That must of blew her away.