Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML
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Top comments
Stupoopy 0
You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.
curious_missy 1
bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter
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Comments (267)
i_love_fml_11 0
#42s wording was a little weird but what I think 42 was trying to say was that if the daughter had sex even with a condom (pin-free condom) she could still get an STD so the mom was making the condoms un-useable so that way the daughter wouldn't have sex anyways. The mom didn't put holes in the condoms and try to get her daughter STDs, she left a pin there so her daughter would not use it and not have sex at all. What she did prevented her daughter from having sex, it wasn't causing her to get an STD.
i_love_fml_11 0
That's kind of disrespectful. Not all Christians would make a condom less effective. You don't see me saying "Got to love atheists" when an atheist does something stupid.
i_love_fml_11 0
I can only imagine how terrible the world is going to be when half the people on here have children. Apparently parents can't stop their children from doing anything anymore?! So many people said that a kid is going to have sex anyways. Not necessarily. A parent should be able to set rules for their house and for their children and there should be consequences. Are you people just going to let your children rule your houses when you're older because apparently they'll go against whatever you say anyways?! What happened to respecting elders, listening to their advice and being responsible? Oh and by the way I'm only 20 and I find you people rediculous sometimes lol
tbagg74 0
well the bright side is abortion is legal so just have sex anyways and get one problem solved
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
why do moms ruin everything?
DemonicAngel151 0
JESUS ****! I don't understand parents nowadays. It's GOOD you were trying to be safe. If your parents take away/ruin your ways of protected sex then you'll probably have sex anyway, unprotected, get pregnant and/or an STD = Life down the drain. FYML, the ******* bitch, damn.
monster_tamer 11
=/ Thanks for pointing that out. Now that I take a step back... for all I know... it was just a practical joke. We have an idea that the mother is religious, but this could have been a joke. The OP was probably a bit disgruntled because her 'joke' meant they'd have to wait and get new condoms before they could have sex?
monster_tamer 11
Looks like you've had experience with this. XD
Booze_fml 0
So according to your mom Jesus would rather you have unprotected sex? Did the pin read Jesus Christ: if your going to have sex you damn well better risk pregnancy or a potentially fatal disease.
monster_tamer 11
I beg to differ. =/ I'm not a guy, nor gay, but it's true that gay men do use condoms to prevent transmission of STDSs... and to prevent less tissue damage to the anus. Just noting this. But it seems likely that the OP was a girl. Besides, it says right up there- "noname(woman)" in the post. XD