Work: Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't...

By Username - 15/12/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 562

You deserved it 2 936

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Same thing different taste

By oh no - 06/06/2016 15:45 - United States - Rochester

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 144

You deserved it 3 071

By nerderer - 30/04/2015 18:48 - United States - Duluth

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 848

You deserved it 6 838

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 186

You deserved it 4 585

Scavengers

By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 26 773

By Deaf and Dumb - 23/05/2017 18:00

Today, while on the bus, the girl in front of me asked me if I could find the orange she'd dropped. I couldn't see it, but when I told her that there was no orange there, she gave me the strangest look. She'd said ring, not orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 018

You deserved it 598

By Ansharus - 06/06/2016 13:47 - Belgium - Londerzeel

Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 828

You deserved it 4 032

Is gift for you

By NotAThief - 14/08/2016 22:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a store to buy some noodles, but they were out, so I left empty handed. When I left, the store the alarm went off so I was called back in, and they searched my bag. They didn't find any stolen goods. They did find a dead mouse my cat must have left for me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 535

You deserved it 1 083

By Username - 04/08/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 013

You deserved it 3 827

By Anonymous - 05/10/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 330

You deserved it 2 734

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 118

You deserved it 2 543

jjoyce6 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:47

Orange you glad they didn't take your banana?

wafflesyay 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:45

Ok then..

Comments

moodyreallyrocks 27

Thursday 15 December 2011 22:30

Where do you work?!!!!

Hollico 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 23:55

I work at hollister.

someguy314159265 15

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:33

How do we know you're the same person who wrote this FML?

Tvolsfan325 13

Thursday 15 December 2011 22:46

haha that's an awesome prank. How does someone think of that though?

OliveLove67 5

Thursday 15 December 2011 23:20

Wha-I don't even....

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 15 December 2011 23:22

Coworkers be crazy. Seriously.

Vocal1 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 23:43

uhm...

RaideRxJaaaSH 6

Friday 16 December 2011 0:17

I dont understand how this is an fml. "oh **** me...my orange got nailed to the ceiling."

goomonk 2

Friday 16 December 2011 0:26

Accidents happen....

ilovejosh63 0

Friday 16 December 2011 0:33

I'm sorry that you lost your orange........

Cazzybum 11

Friday 16 December 2011 0:48

AspynMicaela 1

Friday 16 December 2011 1:06

WTF? ^ My only comment.

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The Top

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 718

You deserved it 2 408

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 226

You deserved it 3 536

The Top

Today, a lady on the subway sat next to me. She kept huffing and burping and was holding a plastic bag. I couldn't even finish the thought, "please don't puke on me" because she puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 990

You deserved it 183

Today, and ever since a car accident, I’ve not been able to go to the gym anymore for more than a few minutes without crippling pain. I have a belly for the first time in my life, I can barely breathe without wheezing, and I’m even too unfit for sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 185

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 188

You deserved it 3 474

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 511

You deserved it 2 369

Today, my husband has a biker chick Facebook friend and this morning he posted on her page, calling her "the prettiest girl at the barn dance." She's a "friend" of mine as well, so I saw it in my feed. I asked him WTH? He got mad at me, accused me of spying on him, and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 117

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 073

You deserved it 6 012

Same thing different taste

Scavengers

Is gift for you

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