Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
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Top comments
kewlaidman10 15
Sounds like a crazy ass boss
usnwife 18
Maybe a polite knock before sneaking into your bosses office? I'd be pissed too if someone slipped in and just stood there! But I do have to admit he sounds a little off for talking to himself like that...
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Comments (67)
buck33 14
Op really should have recorded that. That is some funny stuff when people talk to themselves!
Dcm210 19
maybe try and find a better job.
BloodyHeel 8
Hi Ginge.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Hi ********.
pittpsu75 0
It's not nice to eavesdrop
bitchslapped22 14
You should have asassinated him before he saw you.
Inediblepeaches 15
YDI for Picking a bad job
OhHushDear 11
Nobody said anything about the job being bad... o_O
THE_A_TEEN 28
Inediblepeaches, YDI for Picking a bad brain.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Inediblepeaches, YDI for Picking a bad brain.
Burrito_Time 5
Contract some to tell you how to kill your boss... There's a movie out there!!
msjoyfull84 0
It can be frustrating as hell when you have useless staff. If only mine would stop making me make them cry.
diva26 4
LOL aww OP, that sounds like my last job.
Phatman441 0
You could walk loudly into the door, lol, don't do that... just tryin to make you look like a **** tard.
perdix 31
Sounds like an ideal match: useless employees and psychotic boss. Not that the company has a bright future, but at least, they all deserve to go down together.