Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my female best friend. When I pointed out that my friend's a lesbian, she said, "How the hell does that change anything?" I have no idea why I'm not happy to be rid of that paranoid imbecile. FML
Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML
Today, I learned that while I respectfully distanced myself from my female friends in the last two years of dating my girlfriend, as per her request, she has been making loads of new male friends on her "backup Snapchat." This includes guys from her work, or guys her girlfriends bring around her. FML
Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML
Today, my new girlfriend canceled my badly needed haircut appointment. She feels that having my female hairstylist wash and cut my hair involves "too much touching" and "counts as cheating." FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend's new friend is actually her "replacement". They met a few months ago, and she's really cool, we share the same interests, it's nice to spend time with her, etc., but my girlfriend planned to break up with me and "trained" her because she doesn't want me to be lonely. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
good on you for standing your ground. bullshit from an insecure partner is no way to live. bullet dodged
Anderling 33
Sounds like the trash took itself out. You can do better than someone with that kind of warped logic.
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Comments (11)
Crowned Sataness 12
good on you for standing your ground. bullshit from an insecure partner is no way to live. bullet dodged
Anderling 33
Sounds like the trash took itself out. You can do better than someone with that kind of warped logic.
Hangryko 32
She did you a favour by dumping you. Be glad she's out of your life and move on.
poopface82 25
Those who issue an ultimatum had better be ready to act if the other person refuses to give them what they want.
RichardPencil 32
I take it she doesn't have male friends, or will otherwise put them out to pasture? If so, you might want to take that deal.
Doom_Kitty 14
you dodged a bullet. the only excuse for such a behaviour is being 15 and not having a fckn clue about relationships.
Chazzster 32
That sounds like a remarkably specific claim - Almost as if ex girlfriend was guilty of that herself in the past… OP is way better off without such a control freak.
mccuish 25
It seems like the trash was able to take its self out
D J's MOM 17
you sure know how to pick them... bullet dodged, be happy.
Iifa 7
Good riddance! A red flag removed without effort! You dodged a bullet. This type.of ultimatium doesn't work, as everyone has female family, distant relatives, classmates, colleagues, female bosses, damn your average grocery door server is probably female. This type of ultimatium shows deep insecurity and controlling need. Never stay with someone who doesn't trust you more than the random "bitches". Potential cheater is also a weird concept, maybe she is potential cheater as well, or potential narcissist, or potential abuser. This is delusional scare, and definitely not mature and secure in themselves to stay in relationship. Just to point out you can literally be in a relationship, and then go out for groceries to buy food and the cashier could easily be the soulmate.