Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
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Top comments
kewlaidman10 15
Sounds like a crazy ass boss
usnwife 18
Maybe a polite knock before sneaking into your bosses office? I'd be pissed too if someone slipped in and just stood there! But I do have to admit he sounds a little off for talking to himself like that...
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Comments (67)
BeccaHugs 17
Knock?
KiddNYC1O 22
Stewie Griffin.
Clarice1 9
That sucks and everything, but why would you quietly slip into a room where someone seems to be having what is clearly a *personal* conversation? I'd say just come back in a few minutes, since even knocking would make it obvious that you'd overheard. His ranting to himself doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with either him or his employees. Work is stressful and everybody needs to vent sometimes. Most of us have probably done the same thing. Even his bitching you out afterward isn't that weird -- of course I don't know if he's actually a terrible boss, but he almost certainly felt really awkward about having been caught.
bubo_fml 11
Probably not a good time to discuss Napoleon Complexes or theories involving over compensating for having a small penis...
yeongji 31
Um, why on earth would you decide to stick around when he is obviously in a bad mood? & even if he was not complaining about his employees, you should not have stayed. You were eavesdropping and nobody likes it when people do that.
Dautrat 0
Sounds like my boss a complete DH
thatswhatsup15 6
Hahahaha....I feel bad for you x)
Jerret 6
Moral of the story? Always knock.
iFrosh 0
Damn.
Parisgirl34 12
Wow, my dad does that too. he'll mutter and stuff and its so creepy