Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
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Top comments
paid2think 0
Well does it?
chocofudges 3
haha. that is really funny. how is this an FML?
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Comments (188)
life_hates_you 0
Lame FML! At least he was cool about it.
Cinn_fml 23
As someone (I think #6) said, at least he didn't break up with you. Also, are you sure he wasn't just joking to stop it being awkward?
aardvarkish 17
Good call. Humor/Humour is a great gift.
Filitov 0
Yeah. Sounds like this guy has a great sense of humor! Definately not a FML.
1121osu2110 0
that's funny! how is this an fml? laugh it off and go on! burping and farting is nature! lol
TiffanyBlews27 0
Exactly!!!! It is nature. Everyone does it, and if you're with someone that doesn't seem to want to beleive that, then DONT be with them. I mean, the human race would die out if people only married others that couldn't stand farting/burping in front of their significant other 'cuz if they think THATS gross, just think how they would feel about sex.
mitchem 3
sounds like love to me
Independantlove 0
1- I sawry you choked 2- awesome!! bet the burp was still weak ;) I could do better I'm sure ^_^ 3- oh heck yesh!!! u shoulda said yes n laughed at him bout it. farts r funny. (cept if they r from my dad @-@ then you just die) this isn't an fml, hehe tis an epic win! *favourites*
RoccoRox 0
I bet you could do better, you look like my man friend Cody with long hair..
Independantlove 0
thanks? ur so sweet. ;P
Phustercluck 11
How 'bout a smile, independent :)
spidersilkx9 0
that's classy
h2opoloplaya 0
very nice
ohgodwtf 0
ha
Sexywifey91 0
lol that's pretty funny
ANTLink19 4
hey, you already broke the burp fart barrier! That is great!!! Hardest part to make it through.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Agreed. :D She should beware, though, that at this rate, by date #5 she'll be regularly receiving the Poop Report.