Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
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Top comments
paid2think 0
Well does it?
chocofudges 3
haha. that is really funny. how is this an FML?
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Comments (188)
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, you should just give up the whole dating thing now. You obviously don't have any chances to succeed in this game :D
abcde_fz 0
#92 your relationship in two words: it stinks. :p
crobcrob 1
that is not an FML, it's fantastic! I do hope you said yes.
suprmidgt 0
I don't get the fml? we've all swallowed food wrong and the guy was cool about it.
dreamsmean 3
LOL!!!! i love thisss!!!! perfect
JanisEvans 10
That's awesome. Ye clearly found each other.
tamie306 5
he didn't notice you were choking?
cul8r 4
This is good enough to be the one memorable oneliner of a big Hollywood romantic comedy. This is "When Harry met Sally"-level! Great!! You should have posted it on IMMD.
sosadrightnow 4
That's my future boyfriend. Please let me have him.
chimshar 0
this isn't a fml.