Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
DrunkenValor 0
You should have nonchalantly sprayed your own armpits and then accidentally sprayed hers with the same deodarant.
f_u_u_f_f 0
Easy solution. Tell her, "I feel a bit sweaty and gross from the skating rink, ok if we cuddle next time instead?" Then you aren't making her feel bad, but you get the result you want. Of course since this FML already happened, my advice is kind of useless. :-P
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Comments (159)
dewysonofabitch 0
You sir, are a trooper.lol
DareToDream7 0
Why does everyone assume she didn't wear deodorant? I always wear anti-perspirant (so it helps me not sweat AS MUCH and smells good) but if its really hot out or I get really sweaty, I start to smell a little. Its not that bad because it mostly smells like my anti-perspirant but if she was just wearing deodorant, she would still sweat a lot and the deodorant will only partially cover up the smell. So geez, calm down people. If someone (who has gone through puperty) can tell me that they have never prespired in their life, then I applaud you for your impecable hygene. If you can't, well then please shut the **** up. Every healthy person sweats to some extent. Its a normal bodily function, like excreting waste. Its a part of life, suck it up and deal with it. If you can't stand being around other human beings, than jump off a cliff, we don't need anymore "I'm perfect, everyone else does all those disgusting human bodily functions like sweating, going to the washroom, and farting but not me, I don't do anything normal humans do, that's just too degrading." people.
zebrapattern 6
LOL colossal waste of time, I agree #127
Majinveggie10 0
has anyone heard a better pwn?
hahahayeahright 5
because some people actually have manners?
leesh85k 0
I bet she's not the girl u like anymore..? Lol Ewww.. That's pretty gross.. Poor you..!
harleyq132 2
thats what happens when u go on a date with Snooki...
bananas112 5
I know someone who is ery skinny and smells bad. Sooo...
magicmoe2013 5
Why was HER arm around you?
TiMe_oF_dYiNg13 6
You should have just put your arm around her instead of her..