Love and Health: Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake... - FML

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 707

You deserved it 721

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Same thing different taste

Lingering

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 570

You deserved it 5 469

By lamesauce - 15/02/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 835

You deserved it 3 051

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 3 500

Smooth

By firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 946

You deserved it 2 575

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 674

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 965

You deserved it 3 556

Caught

By EllaElle - 04/05/2021 06:01

Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 3 347

Ran out

By Never going jogging again - 10/02/2021 10:59

Today, I went on a jogging date with a guy I'd been on a couple of dates with. I was a little worried that I wouldn't keep up, but I did and everything was fine. Or at least I thought so. After we'd finished, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 81

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 478

You deserved it 1 114

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 6 345

Next

Top comments

julfunky 29

Wednesday 24 October 2018 12:46

How do you “forget” that a specific beverage makes you poop?

Amy78_fml 11

Wednesday 24 October 2018 12:43

I'm sure you could have chosen hot chocolate.

Comments

Amy78_fml 11

Wednesday 24 October 2018 12:43

I'm sure you could have chosen hot chocolate.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 28 October 2018 17:53

Sounds to me like hot chocolate chose her!

julfunky 29

Wednesday 24 October 2018 12:46

How do you “forget” that a specific beverage makes you poop?

Phillycheeze 20

Wednesday 24 October 2018 12:49

Oh man.... No second date?

Deez_Knots 10

Wednesday 24 October 2018 13:50

I feel bad. Maybe he’ll understand

BurnInDemonFire 33

Wednesday 24 October 2018 14:45

"You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached." - Every mom ever.

WHSKitty4ever 23

Wednesday 24 October 2018 16:09

TMI… disgusting

ciph3r 9

Wednesday 24 October 2018 17:20

At least you can be assured your next date will be less crappy.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 24 October 2018 17:54

Some guys pay extra for that.

draghkar 18

Thursday 25 October 2018 18:48

If he calls back, he’s the one!

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I agree, your life sucks 40 867

You deserved it 7 159

Today, I’m in India. On the airports, men and women are checked separately. The man that was checking the men’s line sent me to the other line. I had to prove that I was a man. It took more than 15minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 71