By mistletoe - 09/12/2013 02:21 - United States - Miami

Spicy
Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 834
You deserved it 5 175

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That's when you say "Yo, can I kick your ass under the mistletoe"

Smack the shit out of him. I actually went to a bar before in DC and saw this pretty drunk guy try this on a girl: "Hey baby were your parents retarded? Cuz you sure are special"... I burst out laughing

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That's when you say "Yo, can I kick your ass under the mistletoe"

Sounds like something Jesse Pinkman would say.

Yo, Mr. White!

No #48, he needs to restrain himself.

Jesse was such a wuss. You should have just kicked that guy in the balls, OP.

I just use the old classic hay I like u and So can u be my hohoho , they don't get mad they laugh

29, he would just have to add 'bitch' at the end of it.

I would actually say "only if i can roast your nuts over an open fire!"

She should have said "mistlehellno"

Wow... but at least it's something new?

New but unimproved.

If you're going to say something stupid... Why say it at all?

Because if stupid people kept their mouths shut, we wouldn't have FML!

I love lamp

Looks like Santa Baby is gonna be hurrying up a very specific chimney this year

Smack the shit out of him. I actually went to a bar before in DC and saw this pretty drunk guy try this on a girl: "Hey baby were your parents retarded? Cuz you sure are special"... I burst out laughing

I have to say, I knew a guy who caught an STD and still tried to get with girls. I tried warning them which ruined our friendship, but I always imagined him saying this: "I put the STD in STUD baby, and all I need is U."

"Aye gurl are you Medusa cause you makin' me rock hard baby!"

"Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for"

And an internet classic - 'Aye girl, if your vagina was a pineapple impanada can I take a bite?'

And a computer geek classic: "Hey baby, you turn my software, into hardware"

"Hey baby, you make me Homo Erectus."

Rape Sloth: "There will only be 7 planets left tonight, after I destroy Uranus"

#4, I have to remember that one.

I have a knife and a penis, and one of them is going inside you.

"Do you work at FedEx baby? Because I thought I saw you checking out my package"

'Aye gurl, you like camping? Cause you just pitched mah' tent

crap, sorry 33, I meant to hit thumbs down.

Haha. Rape. Hilarious.

"Are you from Tennessee, because lets fuck. "

The absolute worst pick up line that I actually saw work at a bar, " Nice shoes, wanna fuck?". I cannot attest to how drunk the girl was, but I am assuming, very.

it's a little late to say this but it's a good one: "if your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays" lol.

Damn. Ima right this shit down...

ooh! I remember another awful one! "is your father Satan? Because you are one hot little devil", *groan*

76- That pickup line is actually from a Jenna Marbles video! If both parties get the reference, it might actually work.

"Yo, can I queef on your kisser under the mistletoe?"

That is disgusting...

What the hell? I'm pretty sure I just vomited a little.

Did he hold up a mistletoe after he said that?

I have a mistletoe belt buckle!

I wanna get a matching set of those for my girlfriend and I! ;-)

I've never understood the point of saying something like that. What are you supposed to say?

No is probably a good place to start.

Yes indeed, lol! I was thinking, "what else beside no would you say?"

What!?! No please?

"if I can kick your dick"