Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by old college friends. The dude was very nice, then we started reminiscing about our high school and college years. I mentioned people doing stupid challenges, which is when I made fun of the idiots who ate Tide Pods. Turns out he was one of them. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
So I'm guessing there won't be a second date?
vreid 20
Welp, hopefully that guy learns that it is DEFINITELY NOT OKAY to ask that or to want to ask that. FYL OP it just means your next date can't be worse (fingers crossed for you on that one)
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Comments (66)
Chellec2013 28
OP, is this from Portland or Eugene? Those are the two Oregon cities that come to mind...
T_Rock1771 13
He's hoping for date...number 2
beeferjay 34
he is a smart guy... youll be sending him ******* in no time. when you need to borrow 5 bucks, you ask for 20
corky1992 33
May need to change your number
reeper147 14
He likes the poopoo. Nothing wrong there. Just send him pics of the poopoo. But seriously. Maybe it was a joke? Sounds like your mutual friend got a hold of his phone.
fotomiep 7
I was expecting a shitload of crappy puns. Guess I was wrong.
worldclassrager 41
Well according to the dictionary it's slang for information and parts of a ship...got a boat?
GrumpyGrinch 23
Hope its autocorrect gone feral.
Sangue0608 26
and down the toilet it goes...
tibtak_fml 10
Maybe he is a talented doctor and noticed something wrong when he saw you? I'm trying to be optimistic. ..