Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I had a blind date. When I went to meet him, he shouted to my friend, “What the fuck dude? You didn’t tell me I’d be on a date with Miss Piggy! Fuck this shit!” and then stormed off. I haven’t had a date in 6 years and I bought the best outfit and got my hair done to make an impression. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
klovemachine 24
what a dummy, haha!!
sourgirl101 29
Were you dating Jeff Dunham? Because he's funny as hell! "I kill you!"(:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
GigaPudding_fml 24
Did he eat with his puppet too?
mightymart 5
wow thats pretty freakin sad/creepy/disturbing .. that weirdo Will probably be forever alone and deserves no less
BoCo_fml 9
He'll never be alone. He has his dummy.
litlpetlvr 0
Asshole. He may be a cool guy. You never know a person until you meet them!
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
17, love ur profile pic
JenL_fml 7
You know... That's not creepy at all. o.O
docscientist 10
The puppet tried telling him to propose a threesome on the first date was a bad idea.
OnlyAFeckWanker 0
Wait, how did you know he had a dummy if you can't see? This FML makes no sense.
JenL_fml 7
Lame!
ERMOM91 0
ok # 24 are you really that ignorant?
Juliaa15 6
Dare I say.... I see what you did there.
babylove65 0
your dumb!!!
OnlyAFeckWanker 0
you're*
tylerquick99 0
it was a blind date she wasn't blind
kl_beans 0
what else did u expect- really?
ribbyc80 0
that's sweet, the guy could make your ****** talk!!!!
NYC_Yoshi 3
woman do enough talking without their vaginas chiming in
spekledworf 18
You stole this from a TV show
iLolAtYou9001 0
Awkward..
ashseal 11
oh damn. that would be very akward