Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML
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Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I had a blind date. When I went to meet him, he shouted to my friend, “What the fuck dude? You didn’t tell me I’d be on a date with Miss Piggy! Fuck this shit!” and then stormed off. I haven’t had a date in 6 years and I bought the best outfit and got my hair done to make an impression. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML
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Top comments
klovemachine 24
what a dummy, haha!!
sourgirl101 29
Were you dating Jeff Dunham? Because he's funny as hell! "I kill you!"(:
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Comments (84)
CitrusGirl 0
Was his name Mel Gibson, and was his puppet a beaver?
cwmbear 0
Did he buy you a gottle o gear?
Fireworxxx 2
Creepy...
Ella1782 0
Arg, I'm new to commenting and somehow put my reply under the wrong comment, sorry #37!
Pigpen181 3
Give it a chance....The puppet might have a bigger woody than it's owner ; )
Juliaa15 6
This comment would have been funnier from someone a bit...younger.
rattusrattus 19
This sounds similar to a situation in one of the Phoenix Wright games, only there, it's funny. I'm going to say it could have happened because writers have to get their inspiration from somewhere, but its CREEPY... and I hate puppets.
SwaggerMelon 6
Classic.
mom2pen 4
creepy
CrystalClearly 8
Sounds like the guy saw Mel Gibson's new movie.
SirPlagueRat 6
That's ******* awesome.