Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML
Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I had a blind date. When I went to meet him, he shouted to my friend, “What the fuck dude? You didn’t tell me I’d be on a date with Miss Piggy! Fuck this shit!” and then stormed off. I haven’t had a date in 6 years and I bought the best outfit and got my hair done to make an impression. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML
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Top comments
klovemachine 24
what a dummy, haha!!
sourgirl101 29
Were you dating Jeff Dunham? Because he's funny as hell! "I kill you!"(:
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Comments (84)
watchoutimhere 0
He's been watching too much Victorious
Melania890 9
That's exactly what I was thinking! I guess it can come in handy to have a 11 year old sister...you can recognize fake FMLs :P
bluegoldfish 7
[insert witty comment about getting wood here].
FMLsOhilarious 6
I hate ventriloquist dummies. They freak me out. You know how some people are terrified of clowns? Well I have no problem with clowns but I do with ventriloquist dummies. I probably would've left right away. Fyl OP.
rattusrattus 19
It's the uncanny valley. Brrr.
TheresNoEffingwa 7
for some reason I don't think is happened considering the fact that it happened in like 3 movies and 18 tv shows... but I gues u never know ... womp
XcaleX 0
Should teach you not to blind date, although I'm sure after a few drinks I think you could have had a pretty interesting time. I can only imagine the kind of dumb shit you could get him to do. A bit creepy though, maybe a better idea to just roll out.
Bobby64 29
This could make for a real interesting video or illustrated FML. Anyway, OP, at least it'll make for a good story for many years to come. ^_^
JackieIsHeer 0
#28 Win!! I bet he did
MRukkus 5
fake lol
RoxyRaccoon 4
Was his name Chuck? And was the dummy's name Bob?
glitchedgamer 0
He can make his penis talk to spice it up in the bedroom.