Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Girlfriend: So what are you doing? OP: Just finished a run. I'm all hot and sweaty. Girlfriend: Ooh that's so hot. What are you wearing? OP: Nothing. I'm totally naked. Girlfriend: Ooooh! Sexy! Are you touching yourself? OP: Yeah, I am. MOM?! Girlfriend: Yeah! Call me mommy! You bad boy! OP. MOM!!! Girlfriend: OOOOOOOOOH!!
torrance1221 4
hahahahaha that's a hilarious image
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
pitineo_fml 0
mintcar : you should rotate your pic , it's upside down. and probably pût your face instead of your ass.
mintcar 10
Wow, really? That was your best shot? You're incredibly disappointing. By the way the accent circumflex on the word " put" is unnecessary.
Selena_is_back 7
But it's fun... :( the cold of wooden floors feels nice. Not that I would know... >_>
ashtin85 0
hahah wow. people these days.
ydi_4_suking 20
Haha he probably messing with his junk like how babies sit there and poke at it
rawrgirl13 0
were u like fully nude? cuz if u were, WTF dude.
ThePaperDragon 31
First off, I would like to ask the OP why he would decide to lie naked in a common room of the house, regardless of the fact that he was home alone, I mean, really? Second, I must point out, as previous comments have, your whole "no on" error, I think you should proofread your post before submitting them in the hopes of acceptance, shame on whoever accepted this into F.M.L. In closing, "baby talk"? I would punch a guy square in the face if he used "baby talk" during a conversation with me, especially during sex, I like being submissive and being manhandled a bit by a big strong man, but, that's just me.
MzKitty83 0
I'm sorry but really? really? u are a walking oxymoron, I LOVE Jesus, wanna ****? I truly get the vibe that religion is important to u oh an ur nipple is showing
ricethief 0
hey ur cute I love rap and go to church and love making origami of flower lilies I could make u sunshine
ricethief 0
hey love Jesus can u give me ur email to hook up sexy women love ur necklace
ricethief 0
On the wings of an eagle, My love for you flies. Soaring higher and higher, And touching the skies. I reached up above, And pulled a star from the sky. To place it within, Your precious minds eye. To dwell there forever, As my love for you. On the wings of our love, Enduring and true. I honor you my darling, With all that I am. Please darling please, Will you be my man? There are so many things, My heart wants to say. I love you sweetheart, There is no other way. your love ricethief
ThePaperDragon 31
No no, If you would read a bit closer, you would know that I wrote that I TRY to follow my religion, however, I have strayed and do regret it, and I have "done the deed" twice, once, well, I do not like to talk about the first experience, and I felt a burning need to do it again to rid myself of the first experience.. And although I have been told that I will be forgive for the first time, it happened and seeing as it took my virginity, I can't help but count it...
FFML_314 12
Hypocrite, 64. You should proofread your comments before posting them. Also, it's obvious that the staff of *FML felt the story was worthy of publishing. Cheers!
ThePaperDragon 31
The staff of *F.M.L. will only read through those entries if they pass through the moderation process. Therefore, each potential post must be voted through first; and pardon my error, forgiven*. I admit what I did was wrong, and it was after I rid myself of that foul feeling from my first encounter that I realized that my method of restoring order was wrong, and that was when I began focusing on my religion, but in my original post, I was going more along the lines of "This is what I hope to get out of a marriage, through the church, in the future". Pardon me for being unclear.
tessybearbear 4
This is my favorite FML of the week.
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
um... strange, scary, ur poor mother!?
yummycupcakegirl 0
a shower would help too:)
Quest_ 13
You're schmoopie! No you're schmoopie!
Muscle_Car_Fan 0
49, Nice one! Haha