Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML
Today, I went to an indoor trampoline park. This would usually be fun, except that I got there, broke my ankle, and left in an ambulance, all before my friends even arrived. FML
Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML
Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML
Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML
Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
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Top comments
Pandaburr1 15
Classic 20 year old
emmingle 24
Hate to break it to you, but natural selection will eventually step in.
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Comments (82)
underguarded 20
I'm sorry but, your 20 year old is capable of picking up the phone and calling an ambulance or driving herself (if she has a license). If I broke my wrist at 20, I wouldn't phone my parents to baby me over it.
svenska75 3
Yeah you're right she's going to drive herself with... a broken wrist. An arm she can't use. Great idea.
Merylwen 24
A broken wrist is nothing to "rush home for". She'll go to the A&E, she'll get a cast on her arm and she'll wait six weeks for it to heal. Broken bones are no big deal, and I'd know because I broke mine ten times. It's not like she was dying or something.
dorquesaurus 3
So what you are claiming is that the stupid one isn't your daughter?
CupOfCoffee 14
Well, I guess you'll need to hire a babysitter next time...
yumiwright 3
I recommend a babysitter.......for the twenty year old......
CorpseFire18 14
Let's all take a moment to realize it was his "20 year old daughter"... Not "20 year old son"... This girl is going places... Like the hospital... More than once in the near future xD