Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him, "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML
Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
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Top comments
BADDiam 4
Parents sometimes shit on our moods.
Bonghittinglover 3
protective moms.. Better than having a mom that doesn't give a shit about you.
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Comments (188)
koalaking009 3
you should have said, "Actually I'm 17 but, my mom, being at "that age" tends to forget."
Shadow4i5 3
I'm 17 ;)
Lights_Out_fml 6
Just come back without your mom the next time. It'd be a good icebreaker and he'd laugh it off.
maverickteufel 2
win for the dane cook reference
Hunts160 5
u told him u were 17 right?
Summer_Baby_x 4
It doesn't really matter if you tell him the truth, it was mean of your mum to try and ruin your chances like that- you never know, you could have gotten married and been happy for the rest of your life, or he could have treated you like crap but either way it's your choice and you need to make it yourself :] xx
sweetalicious 1
kick her in the boob and tell your dad she's cheating. that will teach her not to cockblock you again!! xD
Nevitt 9
what if the guy was a pedophile and he wanted to kidnap you since he thinks your 13? then your mom would have really screwed up.
sparklecherry 4
That's just sweet. Sounds like something I'd do.
BellaMarta 19
Driver's licenses and student IDs come in handy.