Animals: Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming....

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 831

You deserved it 5 327

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Same thing different taste

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 359

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 068

You deserved it 7 519

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 963

You deserved it 71 829

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 799

You deserved it 6 860

She definitely won though

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 15:00

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 672

You deserved it 816

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 612

You deserved it 8 502

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 319

You deserved it 23 918

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 299

You deserved it 14 272

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 100

You deserved it 5 426

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 040

You deserved it 5 963

Aera_fml 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:35

Argh. I hate spiders SO much. I usually am the one people go to, though. Anyways, her father obviously doesn't trust you much. Poor you. ~_~

Pitaace 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 22:41

at least he didn't shoot you

Comments

Arzdin 0

Monday 13 April 2009 12:09

#111 - I am American and I completely agree with you.

FreedomFirst 0

Monday 13 April 2009 14:48

What a jerk! I hope she cleared that up for him and you got an apology.

3daysgrace 0

Monday 13 April 2009 15:49

so how again is that f your life?

KoD_Troublesome 0

Monday 13 April 2009 16:41

Get some serious brownie points with your lady that way bro. Remember that time when your Dad came in your room and almost killed me cause of that spider...

dudemitch 0

Monday 13 April 2009 16:51

everyone accusing OP of bs because he's conscious is an idiot. He may very well have been knocked out or severely injured. Its not like 30 seconds after being hit with a bat he is going to decided "HEY! Imma put this on fmylife.com!!" Hell this could have happened last week, all FMLs start with "today" Plus, I've read in the news about a very similar thing happening. Dont remember exactly where it was, but the main difference is the boyfriend was naked and the dad had never met him. dad woke up at night, heard a noise, came in with a pipe. dad was charged, not sure what the outcome was.

zandar 0

Monday 13 April 2009 20:26

and you're not dead?

were_giraffe 2

Monday 13 April 2009 20:42

if you're still sentient enough to post i guess he didn't do to much damage but you can charge assault i guess now

funnykid 0

Monday 13 April 2009 23:32

i call spiders eight legged freaks n i hate them. the bat wasnt so bad cus the same thing happened on the news a couple of years ago but the boy got shot! OMG consider yourself lucky but still... OUCH!!!