Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
"Hulk is ANGRY, AGHHHHH--OW!!"
MrCalves 1
because if it works in the movies it works in real life, yes?
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Comments (115)
DianeArmstrong 0
At least she has a sense of humor:)
MarkGoldstein 0
did she dump you? if not, it really wasn't a fml story.
Krajjan 9
Thou shalt not imitate the Hulk if thou hast puny muscles.
yagurlteeteexoxo 0
lol that's funny. but hey just laugh it off n get bak to business.
miranda1895 0
ooooh that woulda been sexy...and you sound super smooth hahahaha
rjfloyd86 0
The girl must be a total geek, Sleeping under a bookshelf? Seriously?! n u had to rip ur shirt for a geek? YDI ! ps. Next time, watch out for a bookshelf even when u r goin down on her, she might be sleeping on one.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#70 I don't see anything wrong with being a geek! But maybe that's because I am one... :P
bluefairy_fml 24
#70, owning a bookshelf doesn't make you a geek. Despising the idea of owning a bookshelf, however, makes you a retard.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Hahaha. I agree with #102 and #103. Owning a bookshelf doesn't make someone a geek, it just means that they're LITERATE...
Jessicaa96145 0
50 win ? :P ... fyl op
HeyMina 0
I would've laughed too :) That's... cute though.
samanthadude 0
Lol aww that's cute OP :) Maybe next time try ripping off her clothes? :P
Rememberme1105 0
#34 no one wants to no about your sex life?