Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Grab it while you can
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Smooth criminal
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Lovesick
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML
You never know
Today, a woman came up to my cash register, where I was struggling with the cash, and asked if we took cash. FML
Cool your jets, lady
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML
Check these out
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
Top comments
CammyGal 26
And this problem couldn't be fixed with a simple explanation?
cmayer 20
I don't know how people can be so presumptuous.
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Comments (110)
davincidasecond 24
I would have told her not to flatter herself, to be honest.
mr_sarcastic416 29
put the money in your pocket, say "nope" and walk away
erig_fml 5
Californication...
SamanthaNGoree 10
Well, did she take the offer?
busa335 3
Was she worth the cash you had in hand?
Kitten_Calderon 14
It's sad people automatically expect a guy or girl is trying to do things like this to them. Not everybody is a pig.. Fyl indeed
bmanholmes 3
Getting her attention by saying "hey you dropped some money!" Would of worked quite well..
icepick23 12
Did she take the money? Hopefully, you used protection!
lizmurray 11
did you get to keep the money?
Squit_fml 16
This is not an FML... it is either free sex or profit.