Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML
Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
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Top comments
DynamicDave 11
Awesome. This actually made me laugh. not really an FML though.
EChan 1
I couldn't figure out why a ball was getting bigger and bigger as it was coming towards me. Then it hit me.
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Comments (67)
Sun_Kissed18 25
Aww :) I love German Shepherds!! Aren't they the cutest? They just love to cuddle as you are finding out.
Superawesomestev 0
so, is that it?
adamisserious 0
Some serious understanding the FML fail going on here.
Armin_fml 0
'don't worry ma'am, he won't do anything'
allard 14
'it's the husky you gotta look out for'
rosierosierosie 0
Ouch...dogs are annoying but god damn it they are cute.
MissGreenT 0
I am slightly disappointed in this one...I couldnt even stiffle a laugh....
Tequilamockngbrd 7
So you're disappointed because it made you laugh when you didn't want to...?
shaneac 0
#40 is right, stifle means hold back. So you're saying you're disappointed that you laughed. You probably meant that you couldn't even force a laugh. Sorry if I seemed like some grammar Nazi there...
winter_sky 0
I sort of assumed the dog barreled her over. I think being slammed into the ground by a giant dog is pretty fml-worthy. Unless the dog just ran up to her, in which case that would be lame.
rkcxenocide 0
If you didn't know, FML stands for: **** My Life. Life. If you were slammed by a German Shepard your life would certainly not be ******.
EChan 1
I couldn't figure out why a ball was getting bigger and bigger as it was coming towards me. Then it hit me.
potsie 0
lol this was funnier than the actual FML. -maybe the OP was saying they got hit by the dog, too? I know my dogs will run into people to get toys
kukopia 0
OMG! OMG!! Balls in parks!?! Red balls?!?!? It's the APOCALYPS!!!! It is to yawn. We are 'not' amused...
Ky_123 0
German sheppard dog? what else is there? German sheppard cats? cows? birds?
HappyLoubear 0
Maybe they thought that people would think it was a German man. Who herds sheep.
null_fml 11
Technically the full name of the breed is "German Shepherd Dog", which is why the breed is often abbreviated GSD. But the OP didn't capitalize Dog, so she probably didn't know that. Maybe she's just one of those people who likes to drive her ATV Vehicle down to the ATM Machine, where she has to put in her PIN Number. Maybe on her way... to... write the SAT Test? Or... buy a new... PC Computer... with a better CPU Unit?
Veritas143 0
Protection? From what Ze Germans?
Skull_300 0
Yo Rinnie!