Animals: Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided...

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 38 028

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Same thing different taste

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 599

You deserved it 641

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 914

You deserved it 7 199

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 412

You deserved it 6 801

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 97 550

By Caqtusmonkey - 25/08/2016 15:28 - United States - Arlington

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 781

You deserved it 1 799

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 6 933

By smellyhand - 16/12/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 34 059

By oops... - 19/06/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 338

You deserved it 20 057

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 839

You deserved it 9 494

By justin Bieber - 15/06/2015 14:49 - United States - Westland

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 5 498

alexisthename 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:15

Reshape it to look like Jesus and leave for someone else to find.

DogmaT_fml 4

Monday 1 February 2010 23:24

good thing you didnt try to kiss it.

Comments

wordgirl 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 4:51

Did it taste like chicken?

krislea10 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 5:18

1. how is dog poo confused with a frog? 2. why were you trying to catch a radom frog? and 3. how does dog poo move by itself? YTDI.

sundog 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 6:04

What a moron... you are as dumb as a bag of hammers.

fairies633 8

Tuesday 2 February 2010 6:11

why would u be picking up a frog anyway?

Iimanii09 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 6:22

haha green dog poop?? lol ewwwwww

gozar_fml 1

Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:06

ribbit

avizzlery 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 8:06

buy some glasses.

grog_fml 3

Tuesday 2 February 2010 10:12

was it really hard to catch?

helo2 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 11:33

bwahahaha. I laughed so hard

Zigma_fml 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 16:23

"Today, I was just hopping around when a random person picks me up and mistakes me for dog shit. FML."

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The Top

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 120

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 795

You deserved it 16 308

The Top

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 137

You deserved it 2 597

Today, my depression caused me to sleep through my appointment to try and get more antidepressants. We love mental instability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 113

Today, during an interview, I was given a list of items and asked which items I would take to a deserted island. When I chose a Bible, the interviewer asked why. I replied, "So I can burn it." What I meant to say was, "So I can use it to start a fire if the trees on the island bear fruit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 592

You deserved it 3 201

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 430

You deserved it 19 771

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 561

You deserved it 27 324

Today, I’m finally getting over a bad accident I had, and I'm allowed to start walking again. Alas, I’ve been flat on my back in a hospital bed for so many months, I’m having to get used to standing upright again. I get so dizzy from standing, I keep falling and hurting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 72

Same thing different taste

Alas, poor Kermit

Handful

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