Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
I hope your comeback was, "Watch your kid, dipshit!" That is unless you were facing her and saw it coming. Then, you might've been better off moving.
nike1 0
What a sick father :S I hope you're OK.
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Comments (151)
rxrxrx 0
Sucks for you if you were legitimately not at fault, but I know as a cyclist that most people just don't pay attention to their surroundings.
badabing94 0
I would gave said "don't call your kid a douchebag!"
crazysk8guy 0
little kids are retarded, that's why I'm never having any
imkendra 0
I loathe rude parents who don't bother teaching their children manners. He could have started with the word "sorry".
badabing94 0
god, it's an fml! don't take it so serious! even if it was real, if he DEALLY
badabing94 0
wanted support he would have hired a psychiatrist
Xepher_fml 3
should've used your wife as a human shield xD
Sora8745 2
WIN.
More_Nonsense 0
While I wouldn't exactly say it was your fault, it did seem like you were a bit unattentive. Still, not only should the girl have stopped, but her father shouldn't be so inconsiderate -- swearing in front of his daughter and (literally) adding insult to injury.
notnormal 0
ugh, don't even get me started on little kids and their bitchy parents. FYL, I feel your pain. I hate parents who think their kids can do no wrong, and that the rest of the world is somehow at fault for the stupid things they do. YLIF, my friend.
haxromana 2
When the time comes, I hope her mom is the one to teach her how to drive.