Miscellaneous: Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off...

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 902

You deserved it 14 232

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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 462

You deserved it 11 666

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 5 464

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 099

You deserved it 6 694

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 462

You deserved it 9 421

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 403

You deserved it 12 035

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 457

You deserved it 4 068

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 453

You deserved it 4 699

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 528

You deserved it 1 393

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 7 538

Rememberance Day special

By Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 89

extrasnipes 22

Sunday 21 June 2015 0:02

Bet the fight was about her not wanting to do anal

WOTAN1488 24

Sunday 21 June 2015 0:00

Learn to relax your anal sphincter.

Comments

Saikon1357 25

Sunday 21 June 2015 3:59

Dude, calm the **** down

ally8 21

Sunday 21 June 2015 4:15

Sorry but you kinda deserve it....

Slasher2977 19

Monday 22 June 2015 17:12

Yeah , you are not supposed to argue with your girlfriend , it doesnt end well

birdybirdchirp 18

Sunday 21 June 2015 4:22

Thumbs up seven up, in your ass...

thunderniron 22

Sunday 21 June 2015 4:32

Yeah, wouldn't have posted that one. Lmao

Dif_fml 12

Sunday 21 June 2015 5:00

WTF!!!!!

rockwrench 18

Sunday 21 June 2015 5:21

Really! I could have got by just fine without that brain visual. Hope you washed your finger before picking your nose.

kingnothing123x 11

Sunday 21 June 2015 5:21

Atleast you know your sexuality:)

Jayroc 18

Sunday 21 June 2015 5:24

Just because that happened doesn't mean u are not a virgin anymore!!!

sbarua219 17

Sunday 21 June 2015 5:25

Lol

nomrana 14

Sunday 21 June 2015 6:06

Good thing I was eating while reading this.

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The Top

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You deserved it 384

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I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 1 856

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I agree, your life sucks 39 907

You deserved it 4 195

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I agree, your life sucks 18 893

You deserved it 35 900