Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
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Top comments
Phantomsnake 10
In situations like this, if it was someone call the police and do Not wait for a murderer to show up.
bella_nana347 23
That's just what they want you to believe.
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Comments (37)
ssnow_fml 20
Good plan OP. Just lay there and wait for the murderer to show up.
sparky82 11
Earthquakes in Florida? Yikes!
Tay33733 12
I was thinking the same thing?
Lizza330 28
I didn't know Florida could even get earthquakes.
thunderniron 22
Earthquake in Florida? I don't think so...
Suaria 38
I think judging by OP's reaction, they have never experienced an earthquake before. So it might be possible for OP to be from Florida. Also Florida has experienced earthquakes, they are just not as frequent as places like the West coast.
buckstop1 37
I LIVE in Florida, I'm sure I would've heard something about an earthquake no matter where it was in the state
dspot98 5
Some top notch survival instincts here. Falling asleep when you think there might be an intruder in your house.
gadbois30 8
An earthquake in florida? Where in Floridian because I'm from Soflo and never heard about this
wonderwoman91 2
It has been over 2 years since there was an earthquake with shocks that could be felt in FL.
SneakyDeath 15
What would you have done if a murder did end up appearing?
Epikosity 15
Earthquakes can be scary. Hope nothings broken OP!
insecurewife07 3
A few years ago I was woken up by a small earthquake. It is very disorienting. I thought we were being robbed because of the noise and was considering getting up when I realized my mirror in front of my bed was rocking backing and forth and knew it was a quake. Being in California it didn't take me long to come to that conclusion. I understand the freezing because there have been other times I thought people were in my house and I froze too, fear is a powerful thing.