Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
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Top comments
jessimica642 8
Lol that's so mean, but funny
Minna_fml 14
Then say nothing at all.
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Comments (204)
owo_fml 9
Short Chinese lesson: ???
owo_fml 9
Okay, well Chinese characters won't show up... And editing on the iPod failed me. Here's a new comment: Short Chinese lesson: ni hao = hello bu yao pian wo le = don't trick/lie to me ni de mama bu ai ni = your mom doesn't love you wo hen ben = you can't trick me! Hope you've learned your lesson, OP, and have fun getting back at them. (And may I suggest learning to pronounce these with minimal accent? It'll be more impressive to your rather funny friends.)
littlemsweirdo 12
Pinyin: wo shi yi ge sei bac Po. Now we can all say it !
VAParadise4 0
That is freaking hilarious.. xD
GripItRight 10
Dont speak thier language to them anymore, speak yours. And confront them And plan your next words...
dylanjb7 0
In that case maybe you are a dumb bitch.
groupleader 7
Dumb bitch....
juicifer 0
Well that's just funny
jokeables 0
Ew how rude of them! What ungrateful 'dumb bitches' lol.
whennotlooking 0
??? not hard.
Burning_Star_IV 3
I guess we know who the dumb bitch is. It's called the internet and it's called Google search.