Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Kick his drunk ass out. Tell him that your plan was for him to be raped by a homeless man.
krushr 3
Nice friend. Time for revenge?
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Comments (77)
sweet_candy_ 17
That's an eveil thing to do.
mintcar 10
Eveil?
pcakewafflebacon 0
ENGLISH ************ DO YOU SPEAK IT
sourgirl101 29
Zed's dead. Zed's dead.
sweet_candy_ 17
sorry I got mixed up.
MysteryGuitarMan 32
wow he managed to trow up on your backseat! , thats not good! i should grab him and give him a towel to clean his own mess MGM
FYLDeep 26
I do not believe that you are Mystery Guitar Man.
biass 0
Please focus on the post and not if you think a person is who he says he is. Making him clean his mess would be gratifying, but not satisfying. I would start planing revenge. Probaly a prank that would either severly disgust & irritate him, or one that would injure him but not send him to the hospital.
Ohnocurly 0
Excuse me, Mr. hypocrite, but I think both of those would fall under your definition of violence stated in a reply to comment #1. Secondly, who granted you the authority to moderate the subject matter in the comments made here? You may need to take a second look to be sure, but just because you have a pee pee doesn't mean your balls have dropped.
Ohnocurly 0
Excuse me, Mr. hypocrite, but I think both of those would fall under your definition of violence stated in a reply to comment #1. Secondly, who granted you the authority to moderate the subject matter in the comments made here? You may need to take a second look to be sure, but just because you have a pee pee doesn't mean your balls have dropped.
biass 0
Lol, your a funny one. First off, I said senseless violence. This violence makes perfect sense. I don't know what triggered your little hissy-fit nor do I care, but it was pointless and futile. Hope you were some what fufilled by your first post, because anymore would get you nowhere. Only semi-valid point you had was my right to moderate. I am not an moderator, but I try my best. That being said, technically I have no right. Good job. Have a cookie. P.S Sorry if this is a double post because it's long.
codeman4543 0
What a bunch if little girls you two are now kiss and make up.
hairt 4
I don't think it is MGM. I know he'd know how to spell 'throw'
FFML_314 12
Here's what you do. Pick up your speed and continuously slam on the brakes. Although, it will most likely make him throw up more, it will provide a lot of entertainment for you. What the hell, right? He's already thrown up a good portion and you're going to make him clean it up anyway. At least this way he'll be thrown around like a rag doll and you can watch through your mirror. Sorry if this double posts.
DocBastard 40
I like the way you think.
FFML_314 12
I like the way you dance.
DocBastard 40
What happened to my reply? And it was so witty, too! Now I'm all sad.
WiseGuy79 14
Lol Next time you DD make sure to stock up on the barf bags
steelersjackson 0
ha that sucks dude!!!! sorry bout ur luck
MAGNAVOX 0
Justin Beiber!
Xavi89 0
lmfao Pedro
hootsgrlstayce 0
what an asshole that's y u call a cab now u have to clean up puke
Xavi89 0
you should have bitched slapped him, then throw him out your car while driving down the freeway screaming "this was my plan the whole time"
hcovballer247 0
Time for someone to plan their revenge
AssDan 0
YDI for having a friend.
amazinemo578 4
rub his face in it he's drunk he won't remember