Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Kick his drunk ass out. Tell him that your plan was for him to be raped by a homeless man.
krushr 3
Nice friend. Time for revenge?
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Comments (77)
crazy4frogz132 0
Hahahaha ahhhh that suuuucks buuuoy
sourgirl101 29
TIJD (I know you're Jane but I like your code name.) I hate driving other people's cars. I know my car and truck so well I can't drive with my eyes closed. How about the OP just not have an assehole for friends instead? Hopefully when he sobbers up he'll offer to pay to have the car detailed. People don't always talk sane when they have been drinking. Note* I didn't reply to your comment because #12 kept disappearing.(:
AliceInEmoLandxD 0
hahahahaha fail so you whoopin' his ass or whaaayttt?
Xavi89 0
what did you try to say?
creedaddict 9
dude would be dead if that was my car
underpaid011 0
piss in your friends gas tank. say that was part of your party plan!
JokeMeister 0
KickHisASS
Daederoth 10
There are certian rules that are not written but they exist just the same. One of them is that if you puke you clean it up. FYI.
ObviouslyJesus 1
Clean it up and just make sure he remembers this moment for the rest of his life
perez758 2
you should have beat his ass. and told him happy birthday
psaphier 9
I hope you scotch-guarded your car beforehand... You should've seen this coming!