Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
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Top comments
star_86 0
YDI for trying to teach that to a 2 year old!
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
she's 2. what else do you expect? YDI.
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Comments (115)
mercedeslove 0
Jab it into her ear. Plain and simple. BTW your daughter is going to be a huge **** when she is older.
Elizabeth123654 0
that's happened to me before
fmvhero 0
smack that little monster with a shovel. Teach 'er her place
BeRealz 0
This one made me laugh. And Uhm, read some Bout future serial killers. Your kid might be one of em. /:
ashurbanipal 0
I hope you know you're probably gonna be deaf in that ear forever. sry
loli_xx 0
not really a smart idea, teaching a little kid that..
NastyNoodle 0
Why are kids so god dam stupid?
gamecube_Link 0
........why were you teaching a 2 year old that?
Ikz_Hustler 9
AHHH I feel your pain, hope you get better FYL #89 LOOOL
clarissa_Gyall 0
why would you teach a two year old how to take someones temperature? they can't even read!!