Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML
Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
So she says he wasn't any good in the sack, she was there too. It could be that she isn't all that great either.
faxe 0
you've been getting advice on how to sleep with a guy for months???? If that's true, you can't blame her for sleeping with him first.
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Comments (20)
moonlit_manga 0
mercyFML-San, I like your style of thinking. OP it's probably wise to start noticing those details. but regardless I think you should date the guy anyway just to see how he is. you can only get so much info by some one else. :0 goof luck!
austinryansmith 0
damn i hate people who cheat
ReyEr9412 0
Perhaps the coworker had broken up with him before he and the OP got together? That would explain why she was giving the OP all that advice. Way to jump to conclusions.
lotusgem 0
don't air your dirty laundry at work. or school :)
blackwidowtaco 31
Jeez, what a spiteful bitch.