Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I slept with on our first date and bailed on me the next day is dating a friend of mine. In fact, they’re still together after sleeping together on the first date. Nice to know my vagina couldn’t make him stay with me. FML
Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML
Today, I slept with a best friend after 32 years of him trying. He is visiting from overseas. I just found out he's had a girlfriend for 17 years, who he forgot to mention, and I’m kind of in love already. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
Today, I was staying at a friend's, and I called my girlfriend in the morning to serenade her awake with a sweet song. My friend stared at me, then shook his head and said, "I suddenly understand why you got cheated on in the past." FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Did you just sleep with him out of pity? Still, lots of guys have this problem. And if he can't keep a girlfriend because of that, it's pretty petty.
real life problems 26
I dont understand how so many guys have this problem 😂 but hey, it could have been less than 3 minutes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (16)
real life problems 26
I dont understand how so many guys have this problem 😂 but hey, it could have been less than 3 minutes.
chosha_fml 27
Make sure you tell him that next time he bitches. You might be doing him (and his future girlfriend) a favour.
jen_jalapeno 10
Well...he better start getting good at other things
ajh1800 25
More like **** HIS life...
boopingsnoot 25
Intercourse typically is only 3-5 minutes. Sounds like his foreplay game needs some work, though.
Emma Marshall 19
Whaaaaat? What kind of sex do you have 😳
pjsr 33
He’s exactly right - look it up. Most women don’t want some guy pounding it in and out for 10 or 15 minutes.
real life problems 26
And then they complain that he cant last? Haha yeah right.. never had a girl that only wanted sex for 10-15 min before
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Did you just sleep with him out of pity? Still, lots of guys have this problem. And if he can't keep a girlfriend because of that, it's pretty petty.
Emma Marshall 19
Not really. Sex life is pretty important...
Tony Friddle 11
sure, sex life is important, basing a whole relationship only on sex however, is stupid and shallow.
Lalala579121 28
Emma - It is, but it is important for a couple to have matching ideas for what they want with their sex life. Not everybody wants to spend 24/7 having sex, believe it or not.
Charlie Given 28
Wow ok try some heavy foreplay and have him pop one out before intercourse and I bet he would last longer guys who are sexual inexperienced or just haven't had it in a long time, that first one is like a shaken bottle of soda the slightest turn of the cap and gush soda everywhere 😌😏
commandpriority 5
Your pussy was just that good!!! Send pics and I will prove it!
RichardPencil 32
I hope you had the ovaries to tell him the truth.
Davros 12
Next time throw a hot pocket in the microwave and see which one gets done first.