Intimacy: Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on...

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 225

You deserved it 5 050

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Same thing different taste

Pawpaw got game

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 160

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 237

You deserved it 20 788

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 409

You deserved it 2 685

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 237

You deserved it 90 459

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 553

You deserved it 2 726

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 878

You deserved it 3 566

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 17:48 - Romania - Buzau

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 629

You deserved it 3 438

By notenoughsex - 19/03/2009 05:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 628

You deserved it 10 496

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 409

You deserved it 3 051

Nice to see you

By meeee - 13/02/2021 23:01

Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 94

unlucky_vee_13 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 1:57

we're pretty close...but that's just TMI!

AliSama 17

Tuesday 24 February 2009 2:17

she is probably just senile and is speaking of an earlier time. some elderly live in their childhood/young adulthood and still see things they saw when they here young/

Comments

jack_ass 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 20:16

There's a kodak moment!

stfuxxn00b 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 2:53

You deadass? Thats ill.

beyondperception 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 21:37

I'm sorry, but that's just too funny for words! And, yes, she's probably getting more than you.

pwot 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 2:45

Ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha.

anthem_fml 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 7:03

haha, maybe she's not doing it all the time, maybe she's giving up something for lent that she doesn't do. you know, like giving up booze for lent if you dont drink. xD but if she is getting some, well, good for her. you know that when you're 81 you'll want to get laid too.

Tihihi1 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 15:42

Lol, first i thought you spelled it wrong and meant rent (i know, stupid, but i'm an atheist and so are most of my friends and family, how would i no wat lent is) and saw really weird pictures of my gran, btw thank you for scaring me for life. but ur of worse, at least my gran didnt tell me about it :P i feel for you. and you guys that r seriously asking for her/his grans number, thats like the opposite of pedo, but i dont remeber wat its called, go see a doctor that will give you some pills :)

podrummer9209 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:51

Lol, if I followed christianity, I'd just give up gay sex. *shrug* Not doing it, and it's against God's will anyway according to all those Bible-toting zealots. ^Not meant offensively..

Dimaranien 1

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:28

ha that reminds me of the gramma on House that had syphilis and became extremely enamored of Ashton Kutcher and House. lol. that doesnt help much i know, but know that you are not the only one who has had things like that happen. They made a show about it. lol. Her son was not happy.