Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML
Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
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Top comments
TheLoneWolf87 4
Coulda had a V8, ************.
Cartain 0
Wow, those things must weigh at least two ounces. Who's gonna play you in the movie?
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Comments (52)
DutchCourage 0
YDI for taking dumps in stores
CallMeHush 1
You hit your head? Be careful... Shit splatters.
akathebest1 0
Wow man your life is so ******!! - not.
STYLE_E 0
**** your life as in **** you
Comentator 0
Its toilet paper people not a lawnmower.
chrholck 0
I immediately thought of a person taking a dump in one of the exhibit toilets. I got hugely disappointed when I read the rest of the FML.
perdix 31
I was in Home Depot and I saw in one of the stalls that someone had taken a dump on the floor right next to the toilet. So, I am glad you got bashed on the head. YDI for ******** on the floor!
thatsthegirl 0
#17 OMG I worked in a hardware store and we did find shit in a display toilet! How can someone take a shit in a display toilet and staff not notice! LOL no wonder we lost a lot of tools to theft!
lil_lucy23 0
lol - I've seen little kids shit and piss in display toilets. they don't know better... it's their parents who don't watch them.
Shmeaty 0
the real kicker here is: how did that dispenser hit him in the BACK of his head?
ColdGold 6
Yeah! How did you hit yourself in the back of the head? Next time, try tearing the paper off of the roll first.
djse 8
This.
Ariel881 0
Hahaha! I did that once, but at a grocery store....and I didn't poop, only peed.
ColdGold 6
ha ha ha