Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
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Top comments
love2bu 0
wow.....sucks to be you
1800getalife 0
lucky there was no mace involved
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Comments (122)
panchpanch 0
you shoulda run off, that'd show her!
perdix 31
What was that perverted old man doing behind you? I'll bet it was an elaborate set up to lure you into a threesome with a couple of old farts. If it's not, I'll have to invent that! ;)
PwnerJohn 0
wait what
iliart_iliart 0
Oh Perdix, you are my hero and I shall follow you 'til the ends of the earth. My passion for you, and your comments, burns with the white hot intensity of 1,000 suns. Marry me?
perdix 31
I'm a dude, dude. Thanks for the compliment, though.
beer01 0
Ahahha! Agreed.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Aaahhh, you're used to stalkers.
DonkeyDelight 0
Embarrassing!
trickyd 0
Now im going to consider that you where either the ass who pushed past the elderly man because you wanted to hurry it up and 'help' the woman. Or she was deluded enough to think you where her husband for second. Hey perdix howa bout you me ferando and twinkle all get married and have FML bed sheets. We could start a revolutionary 4 way marrige! Peace out x
fr33convict 0
perdix's comment was genius. illiart illiart's comment scared me though
smartalek 2
marry me! :)
Lakers4 0
sucks for u!!!!!
kathleen13_fml 0
wat the eff just a huge misundrstanding not an fml u suck
ravensunnyd 0
haha lol
cpatrickg 0
old people make me mad
brittany1013 0
Asians make me mad.
Voltage_fml 0
Laff
king_allyson 0
haha thats funny, but that suxs Lol
philman114 0
funny
Kronex_fml 0
funny sucks being you though, how d'you get out of it?