Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML
Today, I was stopped in traffic when a woman rear-ended me, backed up, and sped off along the shoulder, taking my passenger side mirror with her. FML
Today, a woman maced me from her car window because I was approaching her in a menacing, rapist kind of way. She never happened to consider that my car was in the parking spot right next to hers. She didn’t apologise, just said it was my fault for looking like a rapist, and drove away leaving me half blind. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Trace01m 11
You could always throw the glovebox open and reach in. Seems to scare people when I do it :)
unidentified_sta 5
Should have looked her in the eyes and fapped, that would have shown her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
rsolomona 0
what a DUMBASS that person is!! I would've ran out and eat they ass!!
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
yeah, eat her ass out! that'll show her
kweenbitch 0
LMFAO.... classic!
Fortuitous 0
You sick *******! How dare you toss the salad.
ryan__h 1
maybe she thought you had the keys and could move over to the driver seat to move the car.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
yeah, I don't see why that's an odd assumption to make. you live in Canada where it is cold, chances are the car was running or likely had the keys in it. move the damn car next time.
Bobissmall 13
And what if they cannot drive? ¬_¬ Duh
icecreamcastles 0
Yes, because all parts of Canada are that cold, and that is exactly what chances are. And also, all Canadians sitting in a car must legally hold a driver's license and know how to drive. True story. Though, I've also heard that cars existing in Canada are a myth altogether, they travel by polar bear instead.
Sparx1_1 16
Actually we use sled dog teams - polar bears are too unpredictable and after the tragedy of '78 we gave up the practice and stick with just the dogs. OP should have just gotten out of her car and beat the bitch with her seal club.
honeybunches88 5
I think #13 made a fair point. How many people drive without a license anyway? I doubt she would have been given a ticket for moving the car a few feet to get out of another driver's way.
kwintalamillah 6
HAHAHHA
Michyxo 14
As you two were close enough to communicate, it seems like you could've just told her you didn't have the keys/couldn't drive/whatever.
perdix 31
You should have told the driver to move the car. If you were sitting alone in a parked car, you must be a f***ing bitch, because you were probably doing something that is completely unwholesome. Drinking, smoking dope, diddling yourself, or, God forbid . . . reading.
Matt_192 6
oh gosh... not reading...
The_Creeper_fml 8
I think we should burn this comment for it's mention of reading.
Kua_Mei 0
its* I think we should burn this reply for its abuse of grammar.
barbarianDonkey 0
I think grammar Nazis should go read something else
djmigues 7
Oh, the humanity!
sweet_candy_ 17
Maybe she is cross eyed.
Trace01m 11
You could always throw the glovebox open and reach in. Seems to scare people when I do it :)
marleyvk 0
WIN
wierdos_rule 0
Lol epic!
Cinn_fml 23
She might be more used to people driving from the other side of the car, but even so, it doesn't merit the name calling she gave you. Also, based on how you phrased it I'm guessing you were in a car park, or parked along the side of the road, in the case of the former, she shouldn't have a problem if she's legally allowed to drive. In the case of the latter the cars either end might not have left her manoeuvring room. If this were the case it would've been nice of you to hop to the other side and move it a bit, however you might not be old enough to legally drive and been out on errands with a parent or something... She still sounds unpleasant though.
Hellooomindyy 0
Maybe OP isn't old enough to drive. Also what if she was parked in a parking space, should she really have to move out of the spot for someone who can't drive? Hell if I'm moving out of my spot for the next idiot who is driving what they believe to be an 18 wheeler.
MisterW_fml 0
Too long... didn't read.
ColetteL 4
26 bores me with all of her "ifs".
Cinn_fml 23
I don't think you read my post, hellooomindyy, I'll bullet point it for you; Car Park scenario; - OP sat in a car next to a woman who can't drive. Parked at the side of the road scenario; - OP's car might be one of two accidentally jamming in the woman. - If OP is old enough to drive, it would have been nice of her to move it forward/backwards a little if the woman has less than normal manoeuvring space. - If that were the case, the woman could have got out of her car and polietly tapped on the OP's car's window and asked if she was able to move it or not. The other woman sounds obnoxious regardless of the situation.
Hellooomindyy 0
I didn't read yours. My post wasn't even supposed to be a reply to yours.
Cinn_fml 23
Fair enough, I was confused why you'd replied to mine with exactly the same info as if I hadn't said it. Sorry. Blame the comment bug.
Cinn_fml 23
Not really, though I must admit I have been asked similar questions once or twice.
Zebidee 9
But even if she WAS from somewhere that the steering wheel is on the other side, the car she'd actually have been driving would have been left hand drive, so the lady would not only have to have been amazingly rude, but also staggeringly unaware of her own car.
Cinn_fml 23
Unless she'd brought her car with her... And I suppose seeing as though she's driving it might be different, but I've had numerous cases of being abroad and wondering why there's no one in the drivers seat and then realising my stupidity. Maybe she just didn't have the realisation bit? Or am I being too nice in trying to think of a reason as to why she might not be a complete bitch?
Zebidee 9
I think you're stretching the defence there Cinn! ;D If the incident happened in Europe, I might agree with you, but how many people would bother taking a right hand drive car to Canada?
Cinn_fml 23
I don't know, it was a bit of a stretch, and I knew that as I wrote it. The only way I can see someone doing it is if they had like a classic car or something they didn't want to get rid of just 'cause they were moving to a different country. But, somehow, this woman doesn't come across as the kind.
ryan4919 0
Im sorry i just dont like your moderative personality to these FML's. You dont have to give an explanation on every damn thing that deserves a comment. If you dont care what people think, kudos, im just speaking in my opinion
Cinn_fml 23
Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However I do feel the need to ask why you feel the need to tell me you don't like my attitude? I mean, the phrase 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' comes to mind. But yeah, you're right, I don't care too greatly.
Sparx1_1 16
Much bigger chance that the angry driver was an American. They come up here knowing nothing about the country and act like we owe them a good time and throw absolute fits when they don't get the diamond treatment.
mexican613 3
it's not your fault women suck at driving
jbald87 0
this is stupid and not a fml
Fortuitous 0
Hi there. I offer lessons on how to read between the lines and not just take things at face value. Just because it's the holiday season, you get one free lesson. Try to read between these lines. F/U/C/K/I/N/G_/I/M/B/E/C/I/L/E