Work: Today, I was sitting at a lunch table with some of my coworkers...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 04:00

Today, I was sitting at a lunch table with some of my coworkers when one of them decided to put out his cigarette on the table and missed. I now have a nice burn mark on my hand. Did he say sorry? No. "Your hand shouldn't have been there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 835

You deserved it 397

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Same thing different taste

By Pain - 28/06/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 000

You deserved it 72 184

By nimrod23 - 18/10/2009 09:28 - Australia

Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 054

You deserved it 2 528

By chinousmc - 06/12/2012 11:30 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 858

You deserved it 3 415

By Seriously? - 15/05/2013 21:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 3 523

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 463

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 441

By BloodyHands - 17/12/2017 15:00

Today, my coworker and I were written up after we dropped a glass table, which shattered and left us with big cuts on our hands and arms. We weren’t written up for breaking the piece, but because a nearby customer heard us both swear in pain and reported us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 444

You deserved it 327

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 136

You deserved it 35 982

It's not what you think

By youmindyourownbusiness - 15/02/2013 05:53 - United States - Genoa

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 176

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 1 246

cakefete2 30

Saturday 6 May 2017 4:58

This is where you slap him just hard enough and say, "your face should not have been there".

idk_rose 25

Saturday 6 May 2017 4:18

Use his hand as a coaster for next morning's hot coffee.

Comments

RememberSchlitz 9

Saturday 6 May 2017 15:26

Reason #23,751 why smoking is nothing but stupid.

KitKat20_fml 20

Saturday 6 May 2017 17:29

I would have back handed him with the same hand he burned. Little prick needs to learn some manners.

RinoaHeartilly 36

Saturday 6 May 2017 20:09

The ****** shouldn't been putting a cigarette out on the table!

TopKek21699 4

Sunday 7 May 2017 1:27

well your hand shouldn't have been there, he's absolutely right.

Dark_Cecilia 20

Sunday 7 May 2017 3:17

Don't most places forbid smoking inside?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 7 May 2017 4:59

"Accidentally" kick him and say, "Your foot shouldn't have been there."

AspieGirl88 7

Sunday 7 May 2017 10:15

Try putting salt in his coffee (instead of sugar) next time he has a cup. Or better yet, swap the coffee-granules for gravy-granules (complete with milk, hot water & sugar)! LOL. I (accidentally) made one of those for my older sister when I was 9; I'm now 29 & she still retches violently when I talk about it! XD

JudgeComrade 17

Sunday 7 May 2017 16:43

So, he just used you as an ashtray and you gave him "Thank you Master" before whining to strangers online. Good arrangement.

ProperPengTing 15

Sunday 7 May 2017 20:35

Next time he's smoking, take it out his mouth/hand and burn his face. Then say, your face should've been there. Guarantee he'll stop smoking. At least around you, lol.