Transportation: Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating...

By fatty magoo - 29/07/2014 18:20 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 15 973

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Same thing different taste

Donut pass Go

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 06:26 - United States

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 333

You deserved it 29 219

By jj4320 - 17/09/2011 08:37 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 661

You deserved it 41 002

By Anonymous - 25/04/2019 16:00

Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 873

You deserved it 785

By not as easy as pie - 16/10/2015 16:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 221

You deserved it 21 348

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 559

You deserved it 4 608

By yulis - 30/11/2013 19:21 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 433

You deserved it 7 291

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 254

You deserved it 2 251

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 877

You deserved it 45 675

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 453

You deserved it 3 233

By Chey - 22/03/2012 22:13 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 3 352

mif_fml 27

Tuesday 29 July 2014 23:13

It only works if you're Gabriel Iglesias and offering a box of Krispy Kreme.

grace31297 14

Wednesday 30 July 2014 0:07

…does that mean that you donut recommend trying it?

Comments

mkayden 23

Wednesday 30 July 2014 20:03

At least you tried *throws confetti*

mister_icicle 17

Wednesday 30 July 2014 22:41

I wouldn't have been able to help myself either... the setup was too perfect!

SaulGoodman 6

Thursday 31 July 2014 2:39

Hey! It's fluffy!

Grandmastasexy 14

Thursday 31 July 2014 5:05

Steryotypes are not always true

dimasev 12

Thursday 31 July 2014 5:16

They only like Krispy Kreme

EmperorChowilio 21

Thursday 31 July 2014 6:12

love the always sunny in Philadelphia refrence

simsgirlgem 25

Thursday 31 July 2014 16:52

only Gabriel Englasios can do that

inowhtthefoxsays 20

Thursday 31 July 2014 22:34

This is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh op

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Saturday 2 August 2014 4:47

You forgot the coffee.

tbon3r 15

Saturday 2 August 2014 10:01

well cops are taught that donut drink and drive..

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 359

You deserved it 2 739

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

The Top

Today, my upstairs neighbors, in my supposedly pet-free apartment complex, got a puppy. It’s a Great Dane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 107

Today, I received an almost $400 bill for Internet services I don't even have. When I called and talk to them they told me I still owe them $77 because I didn't catch it within 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 251

You deserved it 998

Today, my mom figured that the best time to announce that I'm adopted was during her speech at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 847

You deserved it 1 420

Today, my boss refused my resignation and acted like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 104

You deserved it 1 167

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 220

You deserved it 2 481

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 947

You deserved it 4 011

Same thing different taste

Donut pass Go

The smell of freedom

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