Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

Today, the university bike permit that I'd ordered half a year ago finally arrived. Unfortunately, my bike was stolen months ago. FML

Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

BIKES!

Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML