Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
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Top comments
heyyou1203 0
:-( sorry dude, you were doing a great deed and you got injured. I'd still give you a pat on the back though.
lowfiwhiteguy 0
AICD's have been around for a long time. they work the same as the pads, sending massive wattage across your heart and will cause a convulsion in the limbs. go google it ffs.
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Comments (136)
esquared77 0
That's hilarious!
catastrophicxJLC 0
fail
lowfiwhiteguy 0
AICD's have been around for a long time. they work the same as the pads, sending massive wattage across your heart and will cause a convulsion in the limbs. go google it ffs.
Roto13 0
So many of the above commenters need to realize that just because they haven't heard of something, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Puolukka 4
Internal defibrillators and pacemakers are not actually the same thing...just FYI. The pacemaker is used to maintain an adequate heartrate at all times while the internal defibrillator only kicks in when it detects cardiac arrthythmia. But yea being hit in the nuts hurts whether or not you're in the process of saving someone's life...I'd say it sucks for you OP but since she didn't do it on purpose...not really an FML :)
musicfanatic 0
#28, LOL would've made is soo much funnier! OP, good job that you were helping her, FYL for your balls getting hit :]
illeyad 0
lol that sucks you try to save someones life only to get hit in the nuts- Sounds like life.
brittanycraze 0
uh, hey 27.. if its an adult, you're supposed to straddle the body to get the correct leverage.. hence, a male straddling the body on his knees, yeah.. she totally could have hit him in the nuts. you're a douche. and i know this from experience, as i'm in the medicine field. i hate people who think they know what they're talking about.
TalkinSmack 6
um no your not supposed to straddle the body. I'm a paramedic...
GeorgiaBea 28
I am not sure in what field of medicine they taught you to straddle a body. The only time I could ever see that being remotely possible is if you were moving someone on a gurney and you had to go along for the ride... But that would be extremely rare. If you are straddling them then you will be unable to provide breaths since you won't be able to reach, or create a deal around their mouth. Please ask to be retrained.
sirjohnly 0
Y'all are idiots. Internal difibrillators don't cause ones body to "jump" when they go off. Its undetectable from a person's perspective. Therefore...FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
censorshipoff 0
I was always told no matter what kind of defibrillator you use whether it's external or internal, the body shouldn't convulse to the point where her hand should be able to hit somebody. I guess I should go ask my EMR instructor when I see them. Edit - I was also taught that you wouldn't be able to see a convulsion or jump like you do in the movies when you use defibrillators, and that you shouldn't be giving the person CPR when you send a shock.