Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML
Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML
Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML
Today, I was painting the garage door. After 3 hours, I finally finished the job. As I was walking back inside, accidentally pressed the button that opens and closes the garage door. Not only did the paint job get messed up as it went up, the paint also dripped onto my parents' brand new car. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML
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Top comments
all4pooh 4
That's something my mom would do lol
mk58 31
If only the paint fell on your mom. That would have been epic.
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Comments (179)
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
yeah, moms do that...
Mistery510 6
that's what locks are for dumbass
slipperyeyebrow 0
babies cry but they don't whine
Camilleee_fml 7
She should learn to knock, for other purposes as well. :)
rmbennin 10
Why didn't you just lock the door?
cindiarystrue 0
your grammar is horrible, op
supremelyf_ed 0
"Hey mom, I'm about to jerk off. Don't come in here!" BAM "What? Ooooh..."
hunkypenguin2007 2
Why is my mom at your house? Tht sounds like something she would do. xD
Holy_ish 19
mom's not very bright
blinksmilewink 23
I thought FML rejected submissions with poor grammar...