Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80...

By witt75 - United States

Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80 in cash, only for them to inform me that I've been slapped with $90 in overdraft fees. FML

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Money

In my day…

Sewer monster

Sounds like a catch

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

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By adam - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

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By Foster_Em - United States

Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML

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By WtfDidIPayYouForThen - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I asked my dermatologist why my acne has been getting worse, despite following her directions and spending hundreds of dollars on medicine. She just shrugged and told me they can't actually cure my acne. However, they can prescribe me a bunch of stuff and hope one works. FML

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By Kaboom - Canada

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

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By madeline9322 - Canada

Today, the lack of heating in my room has gotten to the point where I have to cuddle my clothes for the next day at night so they're not freezing when I wake up. FML

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By SingleWorker - United States

Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom put a candle on in the living room. She told the family "how much she loved it!" My mom then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. Thanks mom. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

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By amazed - United States - Frisco

Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML

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By fuckel4 - United States - El Dorado

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Diego

Today, at an MA meeting, I ran into the cop who'd pulled me over and given me a ticket for marijuana possession. FML

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By Markeesha - United States - Eaton

What happens in Vegas doesn't stay there?

Today, I got a letter from the state that I'm being divorced. I've never been married. FML

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By SkipBeatOtaku - 29/8/2020 23:02

Harsh

Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was no welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML

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By Jer - United States - Louisville

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

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By thelunarwolf

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

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By Brie - United States

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

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By have it your way - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

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47964

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By Sophies - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

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By Potty-Pot

Today, my flatmate took his hour plus long shower while we both tried to get ready for work. I had a choice to wet myself or pee in a cooking pot. I chose the pot. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Tampa

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

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By MedChew - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

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By Albert - 26/4/2020 17:00

Useless

Today, I used up the last of my deodorant for a business meeting on Zoom. FML

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608

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By wtffireworks! - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

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By Noname - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

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By mr.palendrome - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

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By baby names

Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML

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By fartz - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

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By boohoo - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

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By AnnoyedWoman - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

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By Yoda - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

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By - Canada - Calgary

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

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By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

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By yawho - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

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Top comments

By ImaginaryFoe | 0

#2116413 - Thursday 24 February 2011 0:19

I've been there so I can say from experience that it is 100% your fault. If you had the cash, you should've dropped it into your account before cheques came in. Also, why didn't you just deposit $20? Then you'd at least have $60 in your pocket.

If you've never overdrawn your account before, you could ask the bank to reverse the fees as a one-time courtesy.

By kiwi00 | 0

#2116348 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:52

Time to start hookin'.

COMMENTS

By Alekyork | 0

#2116341 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:50

First

breena25 | 0

#2116567 - Thursday 24 February 2011 1:53

pickles1994 | 18

#2117558 - Thursday 24 February 2011 8:36

that's why op should stop using an overdraft account

tashaburr | 0

#2117591 - Thursday 24 February 2011 8:53

BoA

fuzion50 | 6

#2118805 - Thursday 24 February 2011 18:54

ure every1luvsbonerz from the one after this one

By kiwi00 | 0

#2116348 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:52

Time to start hookin'.

meowmeowwkitty | 0

#2117656 - Thursday 24 February 2011 9:14

like fish? from a line?
ahh makes sense no $ .... dinner

lol hookin'... no g cuz your cool... hooker-ring maybe?
;)

explodingmuffint | 0

#2117826 - Thursday 24 February 2011 11:02

ignore 79. he's stupid

Captain_Zorro | 7

#2118011 - Thursday 24 February 2011 13:08

WTF 79

eurostar710 | 11

#3444929 - Monday 17 October 2011 13:47

Corporate greed. Fuck the bank.

By fwalmrt13 | 1

#2116351 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:53

That totally blows

_trollA_ | 0

#2116404 - Thursday 24 February 2011 0:16

lyk her mim xD

_trollA_ | 0

#2116407 - Thursday 24 February 2011 0:18

mom*

Renesaga | 8

#2116433 - Thursday 24 February 2011 0:32

Like*

SirEBC | 7

#2116475 - Thursday 24 February 2011 0:56

*luck

Katy326 | 10

#2116613 - Thursday 24 February 2011 2:12

they'll be blowing something to earn the cash.

By Michyxo | 14

#2116352 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:54

Ouch.

By ulicksam | 0

#2116361 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:58

Happens to everyone that's overdrawn. May as well happen to you too. YDI.

By SirEBC | 7

#2116363 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:59

Looks like the bank just made you its bitch..

..in more than one way.

Iccceeedd.

aquariusangel420 | 0

#2121847 - Friday 25 February 2011 8:05



By LunaNstars | 0

#2116365 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 23:59

you is broke!

Shootamonkey3 | 0

#2121745 - Friday 25 February 2011 7:27

You is ugly!

By smashgrab | 0

#2116366 - Thursday 24 February 2011 0:01

YDI. What, did you think banks suddenly stopped charging overdraft fees? Usually they are $35 a pop though, so FYL for having a shitty bank. Unless you have multiple overdrafts. Then YDI even more. Why would you drop cash into your account when you don't have anything to live on?