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Palindromesque Say more :
Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously! To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them. We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises. Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.
By Palindromesque / Wednesday 4 September 2013 09:07 / United States - Seattle
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By  Palindromesque  |  21

Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously! To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them. We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises. Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.

Comments
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  perdix  |  29

#1, nah, that's too expensive. Just wash them thoroughly with bleach and inspect them with a magnifying glass for hairs. You should be ok after that.

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  tanekdrachonae  |  19

Hey, does anyone else hate run on sentences?

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  ifavela89  |  13

that's gross throw them away. who does that? how old is she?

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  EffYoLife  |  14

you're disgusting

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I don't think there is any coming back for those utensils, I would not touch them after the roomates sexual rendezvous. Plus I think the roomate has a issue lol, masturbating all over the house with my favorite spatula... Bitch must be crazy!

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  aka_Specs  |  7

Really? Kitchen utensils? I'm sure the nearest sex store sells dildos and vibrators for a reasonable price, shit hitting up the local grocery store in the produce aisle would've been better. Hope you and your other roommates are doing something about it

By  evilamoebaattack  |  20

ouch OP. hope you dont have to live with her for a long time.

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  cryssycakesx3  |  22

at least she's *hoarding* them. it's not like she's using them and putting them back. OP said she needs to stop taking them altogether, not bring back the used ones.

By  Arthua  |  9

Jamie oliver agrees

By  texanrose94  |  3

yep i would not be touchin em eww

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  Caitie_kid  |  8

She should buy more and if the roommate keeps doing it, just embarrass the hell out of her! She should start to make food while the roommate has friends or their parents over and bring all the utensils to wherever they are in the house and interrogate her on which utensils she's used to entertain herself. Maybe she'd stop, or at least stop using shared household utensils after that.

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